I feel like I've made a huge mistake

First things first, you are not an awful mum. You can tell you’re caring and are doing your best for your baby. Yes this is one of the hardest things you can do. Is there anyone else other than your husband that can help you? Everybody needs help. I felt like you for a long time and it took me a while to feel connected to my LO. Trust me, as she gets older you will start to see her personality and you’ll realise that it was all worth it. Here if you want to chat about it.

Hey, you can with this! ✊🏾 Take care of you and priorize you and the baby, for the well of both of you. A happy mother is a happy baby. The first weeks of postpartum are the quarantine and they are blue days, you have lost a lot of blood on the partum and after and your body is changing so quickly, it happens to all mothers. Also, there are a lot of mothers that after the quarantine they have postpartum depression for the stress, the lack of sleep and the lack of help, also because there are a lot of hormonal changes that could affect our mood. Don't hesitate to ask for help, you don't need to be ashamed of that. Talk with your partner, he must take your feelings and tiredness seriously.

Ask for help from your family and friends if they could help you with the home tasks or if they could stay one hour with your baby and you rest or take a nap? If it's not possible maybe you could pay a person to clean or to take care of it one hour and you sleep meanwhile. If you are exhausted is probably the reason that you think like that, so try to rest and your point of view will change. Now this baby depends totally on you, that's a big responsability and it's so so hard, but you could not fail her, try to make so daily changes that make you more comfortable dealing with it, for example take rest or do something for you meanwhile she sleep. Ask for help in your circle and environment, you don't need to be alone in this! Give yourself a BIG hug

You're not a bad mom but I definitely recommend talking to someone bout ppd

Sleep when she's sleeping sometimes. The mess will wait for you, and you'll catch up being a little rested. What you're going through, you're not alone. It's real exhaustion having a baby. It really does get better. Every month. Always be hydrated and have something to eat. You're doing great, Mama.

Honestly, it doesn’t stay this difficult for long. Those early days are tough. Hang in there!

I can guarantee you nearly every mum feels like this at some point. It just seems like it’s the part people don’t share. You’re only two weeks in. I promise you, it gets easier. Keep doing what you’re doing. It sounds like you’re a solid team. And the fact you’re worrying about being good enough means that you most definitely are. Stay strong, ask for help when you need it, let the house be a mess, order take out when you’re too tired for anything else, sleep every chance you get. Keep being that awesome mumma. You got this 💪🏻

The beginning is always rough, it gets better. The first couple weeks is the gulag

Oh girl, I felt EXACTLY THE SAME at this stage. I’m sorry you feel this way, I really do understand how hard it is. I was full of regret, felt totally lost, had no idea what I was doing, I felt so low. Please please ask for help. Have you got any family or friends that can support you? This will make the world of difference. Are you in the UK? If so please reach out to your GP and/or HV. I buried my head in the sand for too long and now I look back and wish I didn’t. My boy is 15mo old now and things have got so much easier! Those newborn days are bloody hard!! It’ll feel like forever but I promise you it won’t be. I’m on antidepressents now which has helped me massively. You’re not alone and you are certainly not an awful Mum. It sounds like you are doing an amazing job. Get help for you and your baby. You have got this ❤️

The feeling of “I’ve made a huge mistake” was exactly how I felt around this age! Omg its so exhausting those early days and your hormones are taking a huge hit. Its TOTALLY NORMAL to feel like that. You are not a bad mum at all! You are just a person adjusting to having a little person in your life! I thought no one else thought that but then found out its quite a common feeling! Wilderbeginnings on instagram has a post partum highlights week by week and it made me feel so much better about all these thoughts and struggles I had. I promise you, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Baby will sleep one day, you will sleep, you are still both learning this dynamic! Be kind to yourself mama 💕💕

Agreed I felt this exact way…I started therapy back up and saw my OB about postpartum depression and got on a medication. It all helped but it’s still so hard. Looking forward to the next stage when she gets more predictable. Just taking steps to plan for your own health is so helpful. Hang in there 🩷

So sorry momma, you are not alone in feeling this. It will get better, I promise. I agree with talking with someone about PPD. I never did and I wish I had.

I felt the same at first and I'm sure many others have too. I questioned whether I was truly ready for what I had gotten myself into. Things get easier I can promise you that. Even in a week from now you might feel different I will say that the not being able to turn off and the stress you feel when they are crying is hormones and just part of maternal instincts. Hearing them crying for a certain amount of time (I think it's a minute) makes you angry and stressed. I used to lie in bed while my partner was looking after our son and I would hear crying and think "he's not doing anything, he's ignoring him, why is he still crying, does he need to be fed?" You'll eventually get better with that and just trust your husband more and relax. Babies cry and that's ok! It's the only way they can communicate at first. Now my son just moans at us instead 😅 And forget about the state of the house!!!! It's ok if it's a mess. If you need time to just sit on the sofa and scroll through your phone then do that.

I definitely understand how you feel. I joined an online support group and that was helpful. Asking family and friends to help out is huge too, I know often times we want them to offer, but sometimes you really truly have to ask. I will say a bit after the three month mark my daughter started sleeping more so I started to feel a bit better but my sadness and what not continued and eventually I reached out and got put on a medication for depression. Hope this helps, but you got this!

You are doing an amazing job. Those first few weeks/months are really really tough. I promise that no one finds it easy but it does get easier over time. Give yourself a break, it's so so early on! ❤️ xx

These are all totally normal emotions and postpartum anxiety is real! Really tough your partner isn’t around, it must feel lonely. Do you have any local mum friends?

You are doing amazingly! I was exactly where you are and made it through.. I was new to the country and didn't have family or friends to rely on so here's what I did to get through - slept when baby slept. You've definitely heard it a bunch of times but for it to truly work I recommend co sleeping. If not for nights at least during the day.. You will find she will have deeper sleep but also that you will have deeper longer sleep knowing she is right next to you safe and comfortable. And when she is awake - baby wear with those baby wraps in order to do house stuff (if you must and physically can).. My husband was/is great with our son but i always feel he isn't quick or gentle enough etc.. It's because for them the instinct takes a while to kick in. It has to be learned. But For us, the months of feeling them inside us makes the instinct kick in long before they are even out.. You are not pathetic, not useless and not an awful mum. The fact that you feel these feelings shows that you care and are a good mum.

You are absolutely not an awful mum. I felt exactly the same way when my baby was a few weeks old. I really struggled with postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression, felt useless for not being able to keep the house tidy or catch up on the clothes washing. Sleep felt like it was a distant memory and I kept having thoughts that I'd made a huge mistake. I know right now it doesn't help, but it really does get better as time goes on. My girl is 11 weeks old now and it's getting so much easier. She's sleeping through the night now, she's only fussing when she needs something, she's just starting to come out of her contact napping phase and just in general getting into a better daytime routine. It will happen for you too. In the meantime, I'd suggest speaking with your health visitor or GP as there's questionnaires they can do to see if you have PPD (not saying you do, but it helped me a lot knowing I do as I've now found ways to manage it).

Also have a conversation with your partner about needing to sleep. I did with my husband and so for a few weeks he would take the baby in the morning on the weekend so that I could sleep in. He also takes her in the evening when he's home from work so I can shower and do something "normal" like tidying the kitchen or putting the clothes washing away

All of this is normal and every mom i know has felt this way. It’s so hard in the beginning. Give yourself some grace and take one day at a time.