Taking responsibility

So my sons father has severe PTSD from his time in the service and has major emotional breakdowns... well any breakdown he will have cranked to the max when things dont go his way. He knows he should go get help but has every excuse in the book to not go to therapy even tho multiple people in my family including me have said that they would go with him and he still refuses. He is always trying to get me to help him through his breakdowns even after i point blank tell him i am unable to help him because im trying to deal with the mental, emotional and physical well being of myself and our son. Many times he has brought up unaliving himself and has always put it on me to talk him down. What would you do?

Show your support

Honestly at some point, there’s a mental instability that it’s going to make everything in the household suffer. If you’re there, he needs help. He needs to be sat down, talked seriously like your family is not abandoning you but cannot keep being threatened you’re going to end it. He needs an ultimatum honestly but that might make him threaten again. He needs to get better not just for himself but your kids and he needs to know that

Also it’s really really sad and hard but he can’t use you as a reason to end it, that’s manipulating you to keep you in a cycle. But you’re scared that he will, cycle needs to end and he needs to work on himself

I dealt with similar threats from my ex husband at the end of our marriage. Was a scary thing to go through. I tried to get him help, took him to the hospital many times. Set up appointments with psychologist. But in Canada it takes a long time to see a specialist sometimes, so he didn’t see my ex until maybe 3 months later. Which didn’t help our marriage because I ended up having to leave the marriage before that appt. It became a dangerous place for me and our son to live. So that’s what I did. There was also drug use going on with him. And he had guns, was a very scary situation. He can’t keep using you as a crutch. He needs to get help for himself and actually follow through with it long term. It’s up to you if you decide you can live with this and him or not. It’s a hard and scary decision. I’m sorry you’re going through it.

@Jen me and my ex have been broken up for going om 2 months now and still not taking responsibility for himself. My ex did drugs and shit before i met him and he was clean during... or so i thought... after we broke up he told me all the times he had done and wanted to take his drug of choice and said it was all because of me. Im aware that he was doing it as a weapon so ignored it. And ive told him i dont want to speak to him unless its about our son but he has ignored it and still calls me to try and calm him down when ive told him many times that i cant handle regulating his emotions anymore

Then don’t answer it. Say it’s texting only.. then you can screen what the texting and decide if it warrants a response. He’s doing this to keep you. Let him say he’s gonna hurt himself.. my step dad did this shit to my mom… my step dad ended up living till 2021 before he had a massive heart attack and died. Most of the time they say this to get a reaction out of you and manipulate you.

Maybe you need a restraining order then. Or at least court order stating he is not to contact you unless it’s about the child. If he’s not respecting your boundaries, something has to be done unfortunately

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