Partner

I did all the night feeds when my baby was newborn and I didnt mind because my husband worked during the day so I wanted him to be able to get some sleep as I am on maternity leave. Now the baby is 4 months old he looks after her and our older daughter on a Saturday so that I can get some time to myself to go and do something such as my nails, my hair etc. Let your husband know that you need some time to yourself so that you can both come to some kind of arrangement. If he doesnt work on the weekends then ask him if you can get a Saturday or Sunday to yourself which I think is a good compromise.

Christ 50/50 is the dream for most women most women are expected to do it all on their own 24/7. Id say 50/50 is a very fair split you've both done "shifts" in the day and then split the remaining duties between you. I would say as he's the one leaving the house to work you do the middle of the night feeds as you can nap when baby naps if you're tired. He can do from when he comes home until babies bedtime at which point you swap and it's now back to you

During the time he's looking after little one prioritise yourself have a bath or shower sit in another room and watch TV for a while etc

@YazmynJade it’s not always as simple as that. Depending on what time her partner even gets in from work is a factor, him taking a shower after his day at work, then dinner needs to be cooked and cleaned up.. which I’m guessing mom does? time goes quick and it rolls round to night time and it’s time for mom to do the night feeds again and get up for the day with little one to do it all over again. She said it’s 50/50 so I’m taking that as in she helps with the evenings too even when dad gets back hence why she said she hasn’t much time to herself because she’s too tired once baby goes to bed to do anything else.

When my husband finishes work he takes over the kids and I get on with doing other bits round the house because as much as I love them I need a 'break' but it's not a break from work if that makes sense, it's just something different to what I've been doing all day. He then does bathtime and I get the kids dressed. One of us will make dinner, either me while he baths them or him once they're in bed. After bath he puts toddler to bed and I feed and put baby to bed. Is that a 50/50 split? It works for us. He also gets up with our toddler in the morning to let me sleep as long as baby sleeps as I do the night feeds. Sometimes he will do the nights if I'm shattered or he's less busy with work. I think asking for some time at the weekend is a good compromise. I don't feel like I get any time "off" as when it's not the kids it's the house etc but I manage an afternoon on a Saturday every now and then or an evening when my husband will do bedtime alone. At some point the tables turn, no point keeping score.

We split it pretty much 50/50 when my husband gets home from work, I'm still recovering so he tends to do more household than me at the moment but will likely change as I get back on my feet. At the weekend I try to give him extra time to sleep in so he can catch up on sleep and baby can stay in a routine downstairs with me x

My partner goes to work, earns the money to provide for us.. is often up at stupid o’clock & gets back late… Luckily he is very hands on when he is home but I do not expect him to do any night feeds as he has to get up in the morning to go to work whereas I don’t I can sleep in the day when baby is a sleep he can’t do that at work ….

We have a newborn and an 18m old and I do everything other than physically taking the toddler to nursery. Husband sleeps in the spare room to ensure he gets a good night’s sleep as his work is hardcore with very long hours (often not home until midnight). I don’t have to use my brain so don’t mind being sleep deprived! On weekends we both jointly parent which is nice. Not having a break is hard, but in a few months when the newborn is in a bedtime routine like the toddler, I’ll be able to chill from 7pm (while poor husband will still be working late). Basically I’m trying to say that it will get better (“just a phase” etc etc…)

Soon as husband comes home we kinda takes over and does the first shift so I can go to bed at like 7pm. And then he comes up around midnight and then I take over so he can get some sleep ready for work. We found that worked for us.