Feel like a single parent
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@Enikő it's hard, isn't it. I'm so tired and worn out 😢. I know my husband would prefer to me home with us and the LO too. But it's really starting to put a strain on our marriage as I'm constantly pouring from an empty cup
My partner is away long hours as well and it’s left me feeling burnt out over the past 5 months since having our daughter. He’s a heating engineer so his job takes him all over the place sometimes doing days where he leaves at 5.30am and gets in at 6.30pm or working unsociable hours like for the next two weeks he is nightshift Monday to Thursday so I’m basically on my own those days as he’s either at work or sleeping. The mental load of being the one who’s at home with the baby 24/7, plus keeping a house ticking over, making sure everyone has clean clothes, makes it to appointments etc. it’s hard going! My partner spends an hour each evening now doing whatever jobs I ask him to do to help me out for the following day and if he’s home in time some nights he’ll do her bed time routine which he loves doing since he doesn’t get much time with our girl during the week. I just keep reminding myself this is a huge a change to our lives and hopefully we find more balance in time x
I hear you on this, and I think I would have a chat with your partner about sharing more of the care and giving you a chance to recharge your batteries. You probably need a few hours to yourself each week. He can’t help his hours, but his hours are half what yours are. My partner is a chef so leaves at 7am and comes home around 10.30/11.00pm. My LO is often asleep when my partner gets home be if she isn’t he takes her until she is down for the night and the same if she wakes up between 5-7am also we split the house jobs during the week we both hang up washing etc, if I don’t get to it in the day, he does it in the evening. Also if you haven’t, then I would strongly suggest going out for a whole day on your own a few times so you partner can see how full looking after a LO is and how little else you can do. The hardest bit is sharing the mental load, but I at least try and hand over full jobs so he becomes fully responsible for some things. X
My husband can be out from 6.30am to 9pm depending on his shifts. He’s got physically demanding job so on his days off he recharges or we go on a trips if he’s got a few days in a row off. I do sometimes feel like a single parent as when he gets home from work he goes straight to bed for an hour or so and by the time he comes back down it’s nearly time for my grandson to go to bed. He does help with household stuff but I do the lions share
3-4 hour stuck in a car on a commute daily is insane to me. Is it not possible to find a job closer?? Or now he has the legal right to request some form of flexi work (depending on job and if you are UK but he could maybe request to work part the week from home). Obviously not a quick solution but I couldn’t tolerate such a poor work life balance
My partner travels and works all over, he was in Japan for 2 weeks, Poland for a week, London another week, Scotland next week and Ireland the week after. We have a 22 month old and I’m 4 months pregnant and we have a 2 year old dog. I TRY and do something each night when back from work but if I cba or it doesn’t get done, as long as everyone is fed, bathed, walked, it’s been a good day. The washing can wait. The hoovering can wait. The pots can wait. Don’t burn yourself out trying to get everything done. We have good days and bad days!
@Jess he has to get the train as I need to car for nursery drop off, etc. This is half the issue, as trains are just not reliable in the uk. And he has to take a connecting train. Sometimes, I think it must be nice that he gets downtime when sitting on a train. He's applied for flexible working, and the only thing he was allowed to do was to swap a week day for a weekend day, so I can have one less day where the LO is in nursery. I'm hoping that when I'm fully back in work, I can gain some kind of routine again. I really don't do well with no schedule.
I'm in the same boat, my partner leaves at 6.30 in the morning and normally gets in between 7-8pm. The thing is he'd love to spend more time with us and our LO but he can't work from home. We have a dog too, and with the cooking and cleaning and laundry etc.it can get a lot, but he's gutted that sometimes he only sees our LG for like 15 minutes a day. I completely get you, it is exhausting, but single parents don't necessarily have the stability and there's also noone there during the weekends.