I agree that you guys should discuss outside of the bedroom. You can let him know that you also desire to feel the way he feels when he makes you cum. He must feel accomplished and you also want to feel the same. He may have a hard time deciding or figuring out what he really likes. Maybe he has difficulty ejaculating and is uncomfortable addressing it. Maybe he just never really explored his own fantasies. It also sounds like he enjoys being submissive. Maybe you guys can incorporate that into your play time and get him to cum with a little creativity.
The indecisiveness and small talk alone would drive me insane. It would completely ruin the mood for me. You can either talk to him about this beforehand or try some things yourself. His pleasure is when you’re pleased. He’s a giver. He doesn’t need or want anything else. Which is great but if you’re a giver too then there can be a block. He’s not being vulnerable almost like a control thing. Personally I would try and take control. Instead of asking what position you want me in just bend over or ride him. Start exploring kinks and see what lights him up.
Have you told him all of this?
I think yall just need to talk about it more. Ask him what he likes and see what you can do. I think it’s great he cares about you and what yo ido which is awesome. I think you just need to do a trial sex run. Next time yall do something tell him you want to make it about him something like that where he can have a good time. And don’t let him just say whatever is fine. Like have him give you a specific answer. I think when you’ve only been with one person (I have to) sometimes yall just need to talk about it more and figure out what you like and don’t like and what things you’d want to change to make it seem more interesting and fun