Husband always on his phone or iPad
Show your support
@Emily how did u get him to actually listen?
@Emily mine uses the excuse “I’m going outside for a smoke” but then doesn’t come back in til I’ve come out to call him inside
You need to express how his behavior and his absent effects you emotionally mentally and physically. Not only you but his own children he need to understand how crucial it is for him to have a bond and create long life memories for them . Set boundaries & ask for time aside for his family . Also pray ask God only he can help . Hope ur husband opens his eyes to what he’s loosing .
Because we left and started living with my aunt for three months. All my periods complaining didn’t work.
Also I know this is unrelated but I used Allen carr books to quit smoking and now my partner has quit. Mindless habits are destroying ones. With the money we are saving we actually get to go do more family things that are stress relieving instead of acting like some addiction is stress relieving. It’s not it’s robbing him of his health and money / time with kids. I used to be ok with weed but it’s all a scam
Do you have access to his phone? I would set screen time limits 😅
Yes, it sounds like he is addicted. The Allen Carr book that Emily mentioned is a very good resource. I'd also recommend speaking to him outside of Tik Tok/cigarette time. Maybe in the morning before he leaves for work. Try not to do it while he is in need of a nicotine or dopamine hit because he will not listen. All he will want is for you to be quiet so he can get to his next hit. Maybe you could also try a reward system. Men are pretty simple most of the time. Offer a good blow job that night if he limits his Tik Tok time to 30 minutes in the evening. And make sure you blow him right so he associates less screen time with positive reinforcement. The more you can get him off the phone the less he will crave it. Same with cigarettes. The more you smoke, the more you want. Allen Carr addresses that in his book. There are also increasing resources on detoxing from dopamine to manage addiction. Dopamine is not a bad thing unless it becomes addiction & requires detox.
5-8 is too long. He needs shorter times with specific jobs. Ask him what he would like his ideal evening routine with his family to look like. What kinds of things would he like to do with the kids? (Dinner, homework, bath time, tv time) How much time would he like to spend with his wife? (10 min to catch up and 5 alone for a cuddle?) Does he like busy energy, does he want something more calm, does he want a debate? Then ask for his ideas of how you can work together to get there. Maybe it starts with him reading to 1-2 kids so you can give individual attention while getting ready for bed. Or maybe he does a singing video/playlist with all of the kids while you clean up after dinner. Get creative. Maybe he does 7-7:30 bathtime-have him set a timer on his phone with a 10 min reminder so he can wrap up his conversation outside and you don't have to be on him to remind him.
Could have written this myself. One night I sat on the sofa on my phone and refused to do anything. Said he had to do everything I do in the evening 5-9, dinner, bath, play time, reading, all of it. He complained and I said well this is what i have to do 24/7 and you’re too busy smoking and on your phone or with headphones in like you are tuning us out
@Gemma yeh I’m thinking I might have to do monkey see monkey do … but baby will cry & ofcourse my mum guilt won’t let me just sit there So I’m thinking to jump in my car & just drive off & disappear for 2 hours & leave him there having to deal
@Bonny you’re so nice I wish someone asked me what I felt like doing as a parent! & I have given him small tasks such as reading each evening & who ever is not cleaning up the kitchen after dinner is the one to do homework … Happened for one or two nights then he’s forgotten … like the routine does not change. There are things that need to be done whether you like it or not. He goes out for a smoke & gets caught up in tik Tok conversations & forgets all about his family inside. Also when we head out for the day … we go to the beach & he turns on his tik Tok with his earphone … like that is so fkn rude I don’t care how long I’ve known you it’s still rude when you’re in someone’s company & you’re constantly looking at your phone!! It makes my blood boil
@Chrissy we can’t chat in the morning because he’s out smoking then toilet then he leaves Evenings … well it’s the same Seems like there’s a constant need for his addiction to his devices As for blow job … we have not had a sex life since we had our 3rd baby 7 months ago & to be honest it would be nice to hang out together & let it lead to something Hard to get things going if one person is sitting outside giving his attention to strangers on tik Tok It just makes my blood boil & makes me hate him 😒 I feel sad to say that but that’s how it makes me feel Today, after a nights sleep I feel soooo flat & down & depressed It’s like flogging a dead horse I feel defeated
@Kassidi yes I have access to… how do u set screen time limits ? & what happens when the limit is reached? Does it just switch off?? This sounds interesting
@Ashley I’ve expressed this like every week … & yesterday I expressed it after I exploded from saying it nicely day in & day out for the past couple of weeks
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
It depends on if he has apple or android. On iOS you go to screen time in settings and there’s app limits. It gives you a notification that the limit was reached. You would have to set a screen time password so you can block the app at the end of the limit. I can look into how to do it on android if he has that!
@Kassidi it’s Apple devices … ohhh this sounds wild I love the idea!!! Haha I’m sure he will froth from the mouth like a junkie
Yep i made a technology station. And hours for use. When he threw a fit anoit it I said well you are validating the reason we need it by your behavior. Now it’s limited to when the kid has screen time and when the kid are asleep. Quick checks are “fine”. But need to remain at the “station”