Between a rock and a hard place.....

Ladies... How do you handle a 19yr old who is just ungrateful? Like. . WE ALL have done SO much for her. That I've not had to do. Extra crap. Obviously I'm not talking about what a parent SHOULD be doing. But extra crap. For instance.... our family decided to move to across the country from Texas. A long ass 5 day trip. Her cat was a MAJOR problem for this move... Everyone at the home we moved into are allergic to cats.... so my husband's family literally worked things out so she COULD bring the cat. Did she say thank you? Nope. Nothing... just attitude about needing to keep her cat near her and in her room... mind you her room is a HUGE loft above the garage.... like twice the size of the MASTER BEDROOM.... three times the size of our bedroom.... and we have two small kids in our bedroom(for now. Not forever) She was told she should get a job. Her money is getting low($73 to her name) and her ONLY responsibility is to pay for cat food and litter along with any extra food(snacky)crap she wants. What does she do? Give attitude about being pushed to be an adult. 🤦‍♀️ She is told she needs to start contributing to the home. Help with dishes. Help clean. If the dogs need to go out, let them out. Help with the kids here and there(she doesn't parent them. She's also hardly alone with them). Also everyone would like her to be around more. Not just playing games and being a hermit in her room. What does she do? Throw attitude... I have asked her many times over the years to be around more. I really don't like that she wants to eat, go to her room, pee, go to her room, eat, go back to her room etc.... I want her around. I love her. But it's like she hates us and doesn't even want to be around us.... idk For the record ... NONE of this is new..... except the crap attitude about EVERYTHING.... she was doing all this before we moved. But now she's acting like she didn't even want to come with us.... which she did. She literally was excited af to get out of Texas. What do I do here? We have talked she's told me she loves it here. Etc. But her actions are saying something else.... Mind you... she was also excited about getting a job ... It's not like she's treated badly. She's treated like anyone else in the family. Expected to contribute and BE HERE with us.... say thank you every once in a while.... but she never does ... and it's quite embarrassing to say the least. Especially since she's never treated me like this before.... 😪 It's really disheartening and it's making me very resentful when you have literally given your entire being to someone for them to turn around and start treating you like crap.... the looks she gives me? The attitude? It's heartbreaking 💔 😢 Like girlllll if someone on the street looked at me like she looks at me???? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ I've grown as a person.... but she's "testing my gangster" lol she doesn't even know how much I changed my life around to better her and her two siblings.... 💔 God..... if you read all that.... I commend you. Because I wouldn't have done it..... 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️💔

Show your support

Like I don't want her to get kicked out. She's my heart. She's my rock. She is my reason for even making it this far in life..... But wtf do I do here.....

as a 19yr old, she needs to grow up, she IS an adult now and she's becoming a lazy one. tell her she needs to start taking responsibility for her cat if she wants to keep it. you could also say "if you don't wanna grow up ill treat you like a child and ground you" that type of stuff always worked on me 😂😂😂

@Riley that's a good idea! I will have to pull that line out! ❤️ Thank you!

While she is technically an adult her mentality certainly won’t be, she’s coming out of teenage hood and into adulthood hood, the frontal lobe isn’t fully developed yet and it’s really hard sometimes. I understand she’s being rude a probably a little 💩 but try and be a little understanding. Xx

@Amy what out of this says I haven't been understanding?

Great that you’re being understanding. Didn’t mean to offend

yep treat her like a kid. i had a short stint of being a total shit to my parents around this age (except they were actually abusive but that’s another story) and when they cracked down on me and started treating me like the 12 year old i was acting like, i got my shit together and moved out 😭 so put your foot down she is old enough to figure it out. she’ll either treat you better or leave, but it sounds like y’all are actually great parents so she may just get it together so she can stay 😭

also it’s totally valid to feel heartbroken and frustrated about it. don’t beat yourself up for feeling overwhelmed, you’re doing your best and it’s not easy to extend grace to someone who (seems to be) purposely making it difficult. maybe have a heart to heart with her along with the discipline and tell her these feelings you’re telling us. shes also old enough to understand these conversations so i would tell her how disheartening it feels and how you’re losing motivation. it could be a wake up call and would likely feel a little less punitive

You should have been preparing her for adulthood and contributing 10 years ago. Without that expecting to start from nothing at 19 wasn't setting her up for success. She does need to work, and she does need to contribute.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌