Overwhelmed
Show your support
You're doing a good job, don't be so hard on yourself! X
It’s such a juggle but you are doing great. Get a cleaner. Best money we spend weekly. I haven’t cleaned by house for years and it’s one less thing to worry about. She changes our beds too and walking in the door on a Friday to a spotless house makes me feel good for the weekend.
I also don’t have much advice apart from you’re not alone, and you’re doing a great job. It is SO tough. We moved to Dubai recently mainly for this reason, a better lifestyle with a full time maid & nanny. Life is incredibly difficult in the UK for people with young kids, and we didn’t have much family help. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to cope with working full time and just having a cleaner once a week. Hang in there, it won’t last forever xx
I'm a bit confused - you work full time but your 2 year old isn't in full time nursery? If so, no wonder you're so stressed! I work 35hours and our little one is in nursery 4 days a week, there's no way I could manage it otherwise. Its unfair that Scotland haven't expanded the childcare offer, that's really rough financially. Your partner needs to pitch in when they're home, either with bedtime if they're not in bed yet, or with sorting the house afterwards and helping prep for next day. I'd second getting a cleaner, it's one less thing to worry about and we only get 2hrs a week. A puppy is such hard work, but they do calm down. An 8 month old dog, 2 year old and full time working for both of you but without full time nursery hours sounds exhausting and you need to give yourself a break, you are doing your absolute best. Could your partner look at condensing hours, to do less days but same wage? X
The only thing I've found helps is asking the toddler to "help" with tasks eg washing, it takes ages but they enjoy helping and then I don't feel like I'm trying to to juggle them and a task. I also protect nap time and actually sit down and have a minute to myself, leaving any tasks for whilst toddler is awake and can be involved. Eg if I need to clean kitchen I strip them off and set them up at sink to play with water then just wipe up the floor after and dry them. Keeps them busy!
@Stephanie that’s right. I work 5 days a week and my daughter is in nursery 2 days a week. It’s £700 for the two days and we are financially stretched so can’t afford to put her in more days until she gets her funded hours. (3 in Scotland). Yeah it’s exhausting and I just feel like I’m drowning. I’ve thought about getting a cleaner so this is something I’m going to look into. Unfortunately due to the nature of his job, he can’t condense hours otherwise this would have been an option. Thank you for suggestions. Sounds like you’re doing a fab job ❤️
@Medha thank you for this. I hope you’re enjoying Dubai! Sounds amazing! ❤️
@Kate thank you so much! Sounds you’re doing a wonderful job too ! Some of these suggestions are great. We need to get out more but trying to fit that into my work days are tough. I was thinking of doing a walk before I start work (say 8-9) then park after work and a lunchtime quick walk! Will see if that helps x
Gosh that sounds tough!! Your doing a great job. Definitely agree with the cleaner recommendation. We have one that comes in fortnightly and it really does help a lot xx
Have you considered an au pair? You need to offer accommodation and food and pay about £500 / months. I used to ha e a neighbour couple years back and she had 3 kids, and her au pair was a 20yo girl from Germany, they paid her £400 / month and she not only look after the kids, but taking them to nursery and school (2 of them), staying all day with the little one, whilst also cookimg and helping with the house stuff. She only stayed about 6 months as her focus was to improve her english (which was perfecf anyway), going to gim and travel around UK (she had the week ends of of course) and when back she went to Uni to become a child behavioural specialist. What I am saying is that you can get a very nice person and you can help each other. I hope this helps.
Nothing much to add here either but so many of us are in the same boat. Just threading water! But your husband should easily help after work even for a half hour of some chore that would make it one less thing for you. Men have an easier time than women and seem to excuse themselves because they work. Well we all work too so man up and get on with it to husband. You rock and maybe if you are struggling could you consider rehoming puppy as they take up huge time and actual money too. I know its not the ideal but sometimes you just have to remove what is possible
You’re not alone! I would suggest making sure you get out the house! When I’m in all day I can feel the stress rise. So I don’t do it anymore. I get out for mini walks when I can even before bedtime after dinner around the block. It really does help!
I don't have any real advice but just to say I understand. It's such a hard juggle and I don't think any work/mum balance feels right. Most toddler mums carry guilt and are overstimulated and overwhelmed so you ARE good enough and it's normal to feel this way! Im just wondering is there anything you can do to make your days at home a little easier, like batch cooking before your days at home so you just have to reheat yours and your toddler meals? I know you have a puppy but are you getting out enough? My days at home with my toddler are always better when we get our for a few hours for him to burn off steam. I've also tried to not be as worried about the house and just do the bare minimum cleaning and tidying wise on my home days. My husband works shift so I often am doing everything too and do you know what we need down time also. I always watch TV when my son naps now, I used to do chores but I've decided my house will be beautiful again one day soon, just not right now.