Lost myself

Hi love, this is definitely a very normal feeling post partum - but if you are struggling emotionally it’s okay to seek some help! Have a chat with your doctor. Otherwise, what helped me to start to feel like myself again was I wrote a list of all the things I could think of that I did/enjoyed pre baby and then I wrote a second list of how I thought I could add them into my life. As baby got older I was able to add more and more.

Having a baby changes you and your entire world. Looking at your profile you’re 3 months postpartum, give yourself a break mentally and physically lovely. For months after having a baby your hormones are beyond wild and you’re trying to adjust to an entirely new life; whilst learning on the job! It’s completely normal to miss what was.You’re also breast feeding and you’re keeping that baby alive, that is an amazing thing in itself. The hardest part about having a baby is that baby becomes no1 and that means putting yourself and your relationship and everything around you on the back burner for a while. It’s so so hard but it does get easier with time and you need to stop pressuring yourself to be something and someone you’ll never quite be again. When you feel ready take some time for yourself and slowly start going back to the gym or out on dates with your hubby (my friends used to take their babies with them) But be okay with learning this new life and role as mummy step by step x

Hey completely normal you tend to really overthink after a baby about careers and absolutely everything can spiral in our minds! I know I have had the thought of how can I be better what do I bring to the table. My tummy was the same gradually I fell back in to exercising and went right back into working out with light weights from 12 weeks pp some people need longer, I walked a lot also but I found the weights helping more. You will strengthen overtime and your look will change, listen to podcasts find yourself again x

It is really early on and you have a lot going on, I am just a SAHM and I find it overwhelming a lot. Give yourself some grace and lots of time. It may take someone else explaining to your partner that it takes time to adjust and going back to work and changing your whole life. I am sorry he has been insensitive. You're doing great and I really think you will do better if you let go of who you were and embrace who you will become, you're not fixed in this one point in time, you're a mama now, that will never go away. It is a serious time of personal growth and I hope you can find some support through it all. Will pray for you today!

Sending love mama. I know it has to come from within but I promise you, you look amazing and you’re doing a wonderful job. It’s sooooo underrated how hard it is to go through postpartum. I feel like the only people who talk about it are the ones doing it, the rest of the world is just oblivious! I was until it hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s normal to struggle. It absolutely shouldn’t be normal but unfortunately it is. But that means you’re not alone and so many women understand where you are right now. You grew and birthed another human being so please don’t compare new you to the old you and what you did before. You are also still recovering from a life changing event, give yourself grace and some time. Also you’re studying for a PhD?! That’s amazing. What an achievement. Focus on the positives, look at your beautiful baby you made and be proud of your body for its hard work. In time it’ll get easier and you’ll feel like you again. Talk to someone if it’s becoming too much though ❤️

hi love, first of all i just want to reassure you that, what you’re feeling is completely valid, not just normal but valid, you’re allowed to feel what you’re feeling and shouldn’t feel guilty about it. i see and hear you. ❤️ becoming a mama can really change your world, and also you, in all ways, sometimes those changes can be really hard to deal with and feel even worse when they’re unexpected! when i look at the photo of your body now, i see such an unreal, beautiful body, honestly. i see a body that grew a whole human being, a body that nurtured that human being with so much intensity and it never stopped taking care of your little one. you are still so freshly postpartum, i promise that things will fall into place more, and mindset is so crucial during this time. if most of your thoughts/perspective are negative, everything will fall in line with that energy, so it’s important that it’s the opposite as much as possible. getting some professional help may be really helpful-

You are beautiful as is your body, give yourself grace. It may not look the same as it did but it is still beautiful as it is. Our bodies change throughout our phases of life.

you will be able to do all the things you love with more ease as time passes, but it’s important that your partner helps make this a reality. let him know you’d like to sit down and have a conversation about how you’ve been feeling, and how he can support you, and ask him how you can support him. it’s so easy to create distance but it’s important you hold each other close during this time. the right job will find you at the right time, do what you can and leave the rest up to God ❤️ you’re doing wonderful mama x

I get what you mean , my entire face has changed since after my baby , it’s almost like I can’t recognize myself . I’m slowly learning to embrace this new me .

Gurl....tell me about it. I am a completely different me. I dont like it my body and face has changed. It is so hard. But it's worth a human life.

Aww love, it’s a huge adjustment to motherhood for sure. And society doesn’t prepare us for these realities. Social media makes motherhood look so glam when really it’s not. I can tell you are a smart and loving woman. Be kind and patient with yourself ❤️

At 3m pp that’s when I felt most down about myself but that’s when I started home Pilates and Zumba, things I know I can manage. Gym for mums wasn’t doable unless we drop the baby off at the crèche and I don’t like gym anyway so I started doing home workouts, bought some dumbbells and started toning my body back. By 6-7m I was much much happier, by 1yr I’d dropped all the weight I’d gained, so if you wanted to start, you can start now and in a couple months maybe things can look different for you. I follow IG accounts of other mums eating healthy, getting their workouts in at home, getting back to their bods so that’s what motivated me as well. I didn’t want to “embrace” my postbaby body coz that body is also weak, I wanted to lose some fat and tone it into muscle and get my waist back, so that’s I did. Good luck on your journey. Xx it’s def possible, but needs some work on our part.

Hey girl I’m sorry to hear this it’s completely normal don’t get discouraged all mothers go through this specially after giving birth im going through it myself as well currently I don’t argue with my husband but it was something we were going through constantly not to long ago try to work on your self do things you like I know it’s hard in the mind set you in currently bcuz of post pardon depression but keep trying most of all get out the house even if it’s just going to walk around the store your still beautiful and you will get your body back it just takes time have faith 🙏 wish you luck 🫶

You will need reground your worth in something deeper than your physicality. Motherhood can be the most spiritually transforming experience if you let it be that for yourself. It teaches you the deepest lesson of the human experience: that you are not a static, physical being. Your physicality will keep changing: sometimes you will be beautiful, sometimes not, sometimes you will be successful, sometimes not, sometimes you will be popular and admired, sometimes not, sometimes you will have money and resources, sometimes not, sometimes your family, partner and friends will make you feel appreciated and loved, and sometimes they won't. Human life is fickle so it cannot be the basis for a stable sense of self-worth. Your real worth comes from the simple fact that you are a human beings who exists. Once you accept that that's all you need to be, once you step out of yourself and dedicate your life to something important outside yourself like your child. (Continued)

(Continued from above) Devote your energies to being the best mother to them. Motherhood is the best opportunity to allow that kind of spiritual growth. That's how one can feel true tranquility within oneself. Every other source of 'happiness' is fickle. And learn to do things to feel good and to enjoy your time or to serve/help someone rather than to look good or to appear a certain way to others. You can still your older hobbies and workouts etc. once your child is old enough to where the don't take up the entirety of your time. No achievement or career success in the world can match the incredible feat of loving and raising a human being. There is no greater feat.

Hi - want to chat?

❤️ Everyone has already said it! So just know we stand in solidarity with you!! Avid gym goer but now uber eats seems to be my friend! 😅 belly is stretched and sag 🤷🏿‍♀️ and I'm in a weird clothes don't fit phase. Hair thinned at the edges, still not properly healed etc etc etc! Motherhood is romanticised. It's a huge transition and perfectly natural to feel as you do 💕

You definitely can have your career and motherhood. It’s still early your body may not look exactly the same again but you will begin to love it again or at the minimum be at peace with it. I wouldn’t worry about being ignored on LinkedIn there’s plenty of opportunities out there and one person does not define your career. As for your marriage babies change relationships dynamics and cause arguments but if you work on it and communicate with time it will go back to how it was x

3 months postpartum is so rough hun, you will feel so different at 6 months onwards. My hair hasn’t gone back to normal either, but what really helped me was getting out the house. Try going for a walk each day and you will feel so much better and try going to classes too! This will get better and you will find yourself again! Just remember you are doing really well, it’s just a bit of a rough ride right now, walking really helps with the weight loss too - you can do this and you will get through this ❤️ xx

I relate to this so much at the moment! Being a mummy is my favourite thing but I just feel so lost and sometimes lonely, it’s really hard and I just hope that it can get better and I can love my body again x

Don't be so hard on yourself. You're 3 months pp, and it's okay not to know who you are. You're adjusting to being a mum and this massive new role. The hair loss, I had this too, and I asked my hairdresser, and she said when you're pregnant, you don't lose hair or as much and on average you lose 100 strands of hair a day, after you give birth your hair starts to fall out so on average you lose twice as much. Me and my husband argued so much and I had no idea who I was. This went on for months. Once a week I do something for me, normally my nails. It does get better, I promise. Being a mum is so hard and it's okay not to have you shit together all the time. I'm 11 months in and some days I ont have my shit together ❤️

Thank you everyone for all your kind messages ❤️ I need to make time for myself and trust Dad more to stay with our daughter. Between cosleeping, contact naps and breastfeeding I barely have time to do anything, let alone selfcare. And I can't babywear because of the hernia which also makes it difficult for me to do anything. I'll do the list of things I want to do and try to tick them. And I'll force myself to go for daily walks, I already do but I will continue. Thank you so much for making me feel so seen and understood ❤️❤️❤️

Like everyone has said this is so normal! But if you need help reach out to a professional for your mental health. You are a mother now and are changing. Your brain has literally rewired to revolve around your daughter and her needs because she needs you. 💜 Becoming a mom is A LOT and will take around 2 years till you feel a new norm or yourself again. I got very lost my first year, too. For body image self and loving my body for what it did I found an imstagram influencer named The Bird Papaya. She embraces and learned to love her body and how strong it was bringing her children into this world. Always remember to give yourself grace and the doors that are supposed to open career wise will open when the time is right 🤗. You got this Mama. 💜 This first year as parents can test a marriage but remember that you guys are a team and there to support each other. So that the time be vulerable with each other and listen to each other. 💜