Christmas arrangements

Am I wrong? What are others opinions? So usually on Christmas Day we go and visit both of our parents with our toddler however for the last 2 years(so both of our little ones christmases so far) we have gone to my husbands parents first(we live close to them) and then we’ve gone to my parents for dinner. But because it takes the little one so long to open presents and play with things we always end up getting to my parents so late which means LO is tired and massively overstimulated and very hungry by the time we get there which I personally feel is really unfair on my family. LO is slow at opening presents obviously because of the age and concentration levels but when we go there loads of family turn up and LO is absolutely spoilt but everyone wants to see the presents they have bought be opened which I completely understand but it makes it take so long and it feels like my parents are put on the back burner so that my LO’s great grandparents and great aunties and uncles get to be there on Christmas morning. So this year I have suggested that my husbands parents and brother come to us on the morning and then go to my parents after but that we don’t see any great grandparents or more removed family members until maybe Boxing Day or a different day that suits everyone but my husband isn’t happy with that and I know his mum won’t be either but I think that’s fair. I am obviously very grateful that LO is spoilt and we’re very lucky to have so many people that care and want to get nice things but I do kinda feel like I’m the only one seeing the point, for me Christmas is about spending time with family and enjoying the day together but we seem to end up in a situation where there is so many toys that they can’t all be played with and then my parents get a short amount of time with us and always feel second best and I hate that. I am however sick of the argument every time it’s brought up and I want to enjoy Christmas with my child and not be unhappy because I’ve kept others happy. am I wrong or do you think that’s fair?

Show your support

Maybe you could swap them over, go to your parents first. That way he can't really complain about it at all 💁 but also have you thought about staying home and people can just come to you if they want to see you on Christmas, we've done this since lo was born and it's been great as little one has all his comforts and doesn't have to leave any of his toys (also means it's on other people if they wanna make the effort)

We live in the same yard as my husband's family and usually they will come over (since we had kids) and see the presents etc then they go to mass, and we start to get organised to go to my parents house for dinner / usually spend the evening and stay over there, then we come home again boxing day and go for dinner to my in-laws.. it usually works for us but i feel like I am always rushing and not enjoying it as much as I should be, but I really enjoy getting my dinner made for me 🤣 and I enjoy being with family over Christmas and boxing day. We now have 2 boys this Christmas so it's going to be even busier. I made dinner 2 years ago & it was too stressful and rushed for everyone so I don't think I'll bother doing that again for a while 🤣

I’m struggling too this year cause my grown children live with their dad while I have the toddler. Every year since dd was born I’ve had to get her up early and drive to my ex husband’s house to see the older kids open their gifts. We then come home for dd to open hers. Which by that point she is needing a nap. Last year we then went to my parents for dinner. They thought they were helping cause meant I didn’t have to cook too, just meant having to go out again. This year my dd’s mum (my ex) lives closer to us but doesnt drive. Means I now have to try see my older kids plus take my dd to visit her mum and in between cook our dinner! It’s crazy how what used to be a day for staying home in pjs, chocolate for bfast, movies on the tv and playing with the kids all day has now turned into me running around all day to try suit everyone!! I agree with pp who suggested family come to you. I always stayed home as a child and done the same with my older 3 where grandparents popped in with gifts

So the way we do it I’m quite happy with because we always go to my parents for dinner it’s just a thing and we’re both happy with that and it means that while we’re at my husbands parents house my parents can visit my grandparents. Also our house isn’t really that big, we don’t have the space for everyone to come to us. It’s just the more distant relatives that bug me because I think it’s unnecessary and just because our kid is the only kid in the family and people always say Christmas is all about the kids that surely doesn’t mean that’s our responsibility to provide that experience for every family member within a 20 mile radius 😂 also before having the LO I visited my grandparents on Christmas Day every year without fail but now there just isn’t enough time in the day especially because they live a bit further away and don’t drive etc so why should all of my husbands family get to spend the day with our kid but mine can’t and then when they do they get very little time

@Nic yeah I get you it feels like it’s so hectic, and such a balancing act. To be honest I’m really not open to the idea of staying home I know it works for a lot of people but I already do all of the present shopping and food shopping, all of the decorations and Christmas days out with LO, I wrap all the presents and do the Christmas Eve box the list goes on and I’m not about to start making the dinner too 😂 the one thing I always enjoy about Christmas Day and has always been consistent is sitting down at the table with my family and eating my mums dinner lol

Totally agree with u! I love my dinner made for me! Lol

@Anna yes!! People seem so quick to make dinner, if someone is willing to make it for me I’m there haha I love cooking but not on Christmas Day I’m the cook all the other time 😂

Then maybe set a time where you are leaving the house no matter what that way if they don't get there early enough its on them. I think what you're suggesting to your husband is completely fair, it doesn't seem like he's thinking about it from your point of view, hopefully things will change by Christmas for you xx

We do alternate Christmas' so one year we will go to my in laws on Christmas day and my parents on Boxing day and then the next year we will swap. My sister in law does the exact same too. It means we are not giving more time to one or the other and we aren't spending our day travelling around. It is unfair on your family and if your husband won't compromise I'd just let him go to his parents alone to be honest 😅

I think your being absolutely reasonable. Could you suggest doing a complete swap this year, and waking up at yours then going to your parents for the morning and lunch then spending afternoon and early evening with his family? Hopefully LO would nap on the journey. X

We alternate Christmas’s too. Then we used to do Boxing Day with the others. But that became rushed too. So now we do a few days later with the other side of the family that we don’t see on Xmas day. His family lives closest so we go over after presents. My family are further away and we normally stay the night before or they’ve stayed here before too.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌