In-laws

Absolutely and baby isn't even here yet 🥹 I'm very independent from my family but my partner is on the phone every day with his and must see them every weekend (I'm pushing for every other). They run out of things to talk about so if I've sneezed they know about it which leaves me with nothing to talk about when I do see them. I feel I have to play everything down and avoid any details because they're only really interested so they have something to talk about with everybody else 🙈 makes me nervous about baby's privacy and being judged for making parental decisions they don't agree with. They're hopeless with discipline and treats for no reason and I actually want to implement routine and reward achievements - thanks for inadvertently helping to get that off my chest! 😂😂

Use them to the best of your ability 😉 I was from a very neglectful family however my partner's (as mentioned by @B) they talk daily and we see them most weekends. When the time comes though and baby comes along they will be a great support network for baby and me. Lots of on hand babysitting and just generally from their point of view they want be helpful. The one thing I have made very clear though (partner also in agreement) we would like 3 days after birth no visitor's. So that this expectation of seeing baby right away is squashed before they can muscle in. I would try and add up the benefits before adding up all the negatives. My family don't even care that I'm pregnant, which isn't your typical response. So now I have overbearing in-laws they are certainly making up for the loss of my less interested parents. Also try not to let them rule the roost with upbringing, stay firm with what your expectations are, also hopefully your partner will be in agreement too.

@B gosh I’m actually stressing out about this especially because it’s quite the same in the sense of his family tend to know everything as he can be on the phone to them for hours and need to update each other on whatever is going on in their lives whereas I’m such a private person 😭

@natalie so sad to read your family do not care you are pregnant! I hope you are getting all the support and love you need x My family are quite supportive which is nice however they know where my boundaries are as I am quite introverted. But my fear is my in-laws do not know these boundaries and since it’s the first pregnancy/baby for both family everyone wants to be so involved to the point where I feel we have no personal space which is what I need to function and be able to breathe.

I think if you and your partner discuss things together (as things for his family need to come from him) and set some boundaries, rules and expectations you have of both families then make sure you make those rules and boundaries are clear to both families. This way the expectations are set in place and not up for negotiations, but your partner must be on board with this.