Lustful husband

Hi all. I’ll try and make this sweet and to the point. My husband and I are faithful Christians. We’re not perfect of course, but we are very much so faithful. Many months ago, i found my husbands been watching “Korn”. I confronted him, and he apologizes and says i was just bored and came upon it..it was the first time I’ve ever seen anything like so. We got passed it. With in mind what my boundaries were and how that makes me feel. Yesterday i was on fb and updating my info. I checked out his too just because i was curious (he has no photos on his fb. Just uses it for memes and entertainment). I happened to look at his following list, and he’s following a bunch of provocative women who show off their bodies and all that jazz… Of course i was devastated and angry. I confronted him, he lied about it. Said he wasn’t following anyone like that. I showed that proof and he had nothing to say (he was on his way to work) later he texted me and said. Yes. He followed those women, hes been praying about it because he felt convicted and God told her no more social media. He’s gonna destroy his family if he doesn’t stop. I was just flabbergasted because yes, i knew my husband wasn’t perfect but i never thought he’d be struggling with sexual impurities. Hes never made me feel as though i wasn’t enough or his eyes were elsewhere. I feel so hurt and just betrayed. We’ve been together for almost 6 years. Married for 3. Weeks have 2 girls. I don’t know if i can be with someone like this. How can i trust him??? I told myself maybe separate. If he can’t be a man after Gods heart, he don’t need your heart..thoughts? Advice? I am really going through it emotionally and could use a friend. Thanks.
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Hey love. Lust is one of the biggest stumbling block for men (and even women) so your experience is similar to so many others. When it comes to overcoming the desires of the flesh, it’s honestly the work of the Holy Spirit that is able to help us overcome them. As a wife, I encourage you to pray that your husband will lean on the Lord and invite the Holy Spirit to help him overcome the lust and temptation. For yourself, pray that God would give you the heart to be gracious and patient while dealing with this. It can be hard but please keep in mind that the enemy uses lust to destroy marriages. He wants us to give up on each other when trials come but it’s an opportunity for us to seek the Lord harder!

@Kenya i just want to say thank you…. I really realllllyyy needed to hear those gentle words you gave me. Part of me wants to leave my husband.. part of me doesn’t want to have that lack of trust and lack of feeling I’m not good enough.. but i love how you made me know that i am not alone also…because that’s exactly how i feel 😭😭 Thank you so much. Your words and encouragement mean more than you know.

So this is a him problem and nothing to do with how pretty or sexually attractive you. You are worth fighting for and don't forget that! Check out Sheila Gregiore's blog and podcast on sex and marriage. It's healthy and evidence based. Also.... this is a betrayal of your intimacy and you need to grieve and rebuild. Either alone or together, but not until you grieve and heal. So get a solo therapist and he should get one too. One that specializes in pornography addictions. Sorry I'm in a storm of no sleep and a rsv toddler.

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