Visitors

Personally I wouldn’t dream of expecting my family or anyone else over to clean. Different if they offer but even then I’d automatically say no It can wait or oh can help. The hardest thing I found was cooking and eating meals.

@Karen i honestly don't want ppl over period but it's the only way id take it if they were actually going to help. I dont want to be stuck entertaining anyone.

I don't think you can expect that of people sadly, I agree it would be ideal but can only happen if they offer and a lot of people just won't think to (some will hopefully!) so id stick to your guns and have your space until you're ready for visitors xx

Use the time the visitors are there to go shower, go take a nap or just chill. You're husband can clean in between helping you. I wouldn't expect anyone to come to my house and clean when I have my partner there, great if they offer or bring food over 👌

When our families visited they did everything. Made the tea, emptied the dishwasher, made lunch etc. Family aren’t guests and we treat each other’s homes like our own. When they had the baby I enjoyed a hot drink, shower etc or did things I wouldn’t expect of family like putting clothes in the machine. I definitely think you could ask your boyfriend to ask them to help, “can you pass me the things from the dishwasher and I’ll put them away” or similar. Then they might do it automatically the next time!

I would never ask people to come over to just do jobs for us. Personally I think that's rude. We had loads of people round in small groups and I used that time to shower, chat or just relax and watch them snuggling our gorgeous new daughter who I loved showing off. Nobody expected us to entertain them in any way. In fact they often bought us tasty treats and made the teas for everyone.

It’s perfectly reasonable to expect them to come over to help around the house, and they should offer / want to to help out. You’ll have to let them see and hold the baby etc for a while when they are there too, but if you say to them how difficult it is not having your own family close by etc and how much you’d appreciate a helping hand just for the first few weeks while you recover, I’m sure they will understand.

I wouldn't expect that. If you can hire external service ? I did hired a cleaning help and my partner mainly cooked and sometimes we would take over or go out to eat. I had no visits for 6 weeks. Best decision ever

If you honestly want jobs done and no one to hold baby, then you need a cleaner not family. It’s reasonable to say you’d love some help though but it comes with being friendly and giving a little. Personally I had a Caesarian and family visited early on. It was amazing to have 10 minutes to shower whilst baby was safe and watched, to have an hour to nap. My family though are never expectant on being waited on, they make their own drinks and my mum will run the hoover around without being asked.

@Claire the thing is i wouldnt be asking them to come over. They will insist on it. I personally dont want anyone over because i dont want to host. Id have to get up and shower get ready and prepare something. Thats what would be expected.

@Diana my MIL and FIL both came round 3 days after I had an emergency c section and stayed for 3 days because they're a 4 hour drive away. I never showered in that time (or since the c section) or even changed my PJ's the entire time they were here. I slept when I needed to and just relaxed when I could. I never once made teas or provided any hosting duties nor did they ask me to. My husband did it and they also pitched in. My point is, you don't have to put hosting pressure on yourself nor do you have to look good. If they come, just focus on yourself. They'll be fine