Any advice for family who are too much?

If they won’t accept you saying no passing around the baby, I would leave or not go. Maybe mention it before and see how they react. It’s also weird they don’t want your husband there, but I don’t know if there’s more to that. Can you just have a direct convo with your mom and sister about how you appreciate them but feel overwhelmed and like you need some more personal space?

@Sarah I mentioned it a couple days back and they told me that my son's gonna need to build an immune system somehow and hes gonna need to get sick to build it up. They don't like the fact that my husband and I are a family and they don't want him around. They haven't liked him since I got together with him. Idk what the issue is but they never say either. I have not been around them and just keep to myself so I can spend time with my husband when he's not working or I want to have time for myself and they call me selfish.

Why even go somewhere your husband is not welcomed at? These people don’t seem to respect your decisions. I just watched a video on how a baby become sick and developed a brain infection due to someone kissing the baby at 2 days old. So paranoid is very much okay to be when you child is that young. I dont think you should go. Make new traditions with your hubby. Family can be very toxic.

🫤 assuming your husband has given them no reason to dislike him, he is your chosen family. i wouldn't attend any family gatherings where my husband wasn't allowed and would happily go no contact with family if they can't respect him or not speak ill of him. That being said a family that cant respect your wishes when it comes to your child is a huge red flag. My husband's family is similar, they don't like taking no for an answer, neither does my mom, but I have no problem putting my foot down when it comes to my children's safety and well being and anyone is welcome to the knowledge that I will remove them from my children's life if they cant respect the boundaries I put in place to protect them. Thats my tip/advice. Put your needs and your babies and husbands needs first, you will feel better for it, rather than pleasing family that should be respectful of your wishes and boundaries

I would lie say we all got covid and not go. Then with mom and sis that’s a tough one. Family is hard to navigate. Sometimes distance makes the heart grow founder. Maybe say your husband is home when he’s not so they don’t come around. I choose avoidance with situations like that

Thanks guys your all right navigating family is very hard but I know that I need to put my new little family's needs and safety before anyone else's. I plan to get away from all of this toxicity once the weather gets better and after baby boy is born. we have decided as our little family we need to move where some of the family can still come visit and the toxic ones can't get access to my son until they learn to respect us. I hope one day they get better but only time will tell

Yes I wouldn’t go either. I’m On a similar boat family just thinks they should have access to my baby automatically. It’s overwhelming. I don’t want visitors just yet and they get offended so easily. Yesterday I left the NICU with my daughter she was admitted for a day to monitor her levels and my mom just says let me Know when you get home so I can bring over your niece ( 5 year old) I said no my daughter is too small and is just leaving the hospital. It’s annoying like they lack common sense . Then on the day we all arrived from hospital tired no showered wanting to settle in she is like well ok your dad wants to come over so let me call him. I said no I’ll call him tomorrow we just got home and are exhausted

I would tell them no and that during that time RSV is very high and if they will be kissing him then likely good of him getting sick is high and that you don’t want to risk it especially if your husband can’t come that’s weird to me if my family said my husband couldn’t come I wouldn’t be going at all. I’m not close to my family and just had number 2 and they have only met her once on FaceTime and I don’t really plan on calling them for awhile because they feel this is their baby and it’s not she’s mine.

@Rebecca yeah my mom and sister are acting like this baby is theirs. My sister is the worst of it she doesn't want my husband around at all and told me that as long as they are vaccinated then my son should be fine. She has been so picky and nosey lately about what we do and wants to control it all and says it's just because she wants "what's best for my son" as if me and my husband granted being first timers can't take care of him. I said no kissing allowed at all until he's older and it was "you're selfish and it's not fair you get to kiss him and so does your husband and not us."

@Mae yeah that's what I'm saying but what bothers me is why should they get access to him when he's so little yet my husband's family is not allowed nor is my dad's side until Christmas or closer to Easter

There’s tons of ways to raise kids, but you get to make the best choices for your family. If they can’t accept your choices to keep your baby safe then I don’t think they get to be around them. I’ve had to have a few “that’s great that you did things like that with your children, but we’re going this way instead” convos with family. It’s your child and they don’t get to tell you how to raise them. Good luck!

@Sarah thank you!

Thank you everyone Im glad to know I'm not alone in this and that I'm not being selfish for being the parent I know I need to be!