Library Book
My son was reading a book at the library while I looked for books with my daughter. We checked the book out (Tails by Matthew van Fleet) and when we read it at home he told me that he ripped two flaps out of the book and hid them under the rolling bookshelves at the library. He was remorseful and I of course explained that you don’t treat books that way especially if they are not yours. He will be 4 in Nov… age-appropriate consequence? Telling the librarian? He would probably be too shy to do that? I found the book on eBay for $4. We don’t have an allowance so I’m not sure he’d understand paying for the book if we had him do chores to pay for it.
We could write an apology letter? And I could replace the book.
What are your thoughts for a four year old?
Thanks!
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Also, as a total book lover - I absolutely love that you taught him that it’s not right to treat books that way. However you handle this situation is likely going to be better than someone who brushes it off as them just being littles and ignores it. Your moral integrity seems so spot on, you seem like a wonderful mama!
I’d just take him to the librarian for him to tell them he ripped the pages and to apologize. Give him gentle and positive encouragement during the process. We’ve had to do things like this and i would hold his hand and guide him on what to say.
Okay thank you all for your encouragement! He did work up the courage to tell the librarian today and I was so proud of him!
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I don’t know if this is too harsh and haven’t read any parenting books/heard from experts on if what I would do is right but this is how I’d handle the situation. I’d have us work on a letter together with an apology but I’d make a point that I’d really like him to tell the librarian face to face and apologize. If in the moment, it’s just too scary - we can hand the letter as our “plan b”. I’d also have a replacement book ready because they might try to give you an overpriced bill and if you have a replacement for them in hand I’d hope they’d just accept that. I’d let my son know that accountability matters and when we do something wrong, we need to own up and make it right. We all make mistakes and will continue to do so all our lives so it’s important to learn from them and make them right when we can. I talk to my 3 year old about accountability a lot even though I know that word is too big. I hope it will sink in when his brain is ready for it and we may as well start early on.