Letting baby cry..
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Response : to “when will my child be old enough for it not to be psychologically damaging or a health problem to let him cry it out” It will never not be a health problem. The anguish a child feels when someone doesn’t comfort them in this big new scary world causes them to emotionally shut down because the pain is unbearable. That is why the child stops crying, not because they have “gotten it out of their system”. This is an outdated theory that has created generations of emotionally unavailable adults who do not know how to healthfully cope or have healthy relationships. We brought these sweet beings into the world and they deserve all the love and comfort they need until they develop into stages where they feel more confident and safe having experiences on their own.
Again, I know it can be incredibly overwhelming for your baby to be crying , especially for long periods of time. Find the assistance you both need to get through this difficult phase 🙏🏽
This could be colic if it’s at night with no obvious reason. It would sometimes take an hour to wind my daughter but this did ease at 12 weeks ish. It’s ok to put your baby down when you’re overstimulated and can feel you are no longer helping them and come back - I even did this today when she was having a particularly difficult day I put her in a safe space, give myself ten minutes and come back and 95% of the time it works for both of us. They can’t regulate this young, babies are so hard and some days will be harder than others but it does get better. Depending on how you’re feeding him it could be CMPA, it could be wind, he could just have this temperament but if you feel you’ve exhausted all options and this isn’t ‘normal’ for your baby maybe arrange to see your HV or GP. Hang in there it does get better. x
It’s possible something is going on, but with little info I’m not going to guess. If you need five or ten minutes to gather yourself then do so just make sure he is in a safe spot.
Around 5 weeks is when PURPLE crying starts (if they get it). Unlike colic, there is nothing you can do about it. It’ll go away on its own eventually. Invest in some good noise blocking headphones, put on a good podcast, and walk/rock/bounce that baby around the house. My husband and I took 2 hour shifts at this age. You’ve got this ❤️
When are they crying? Mine went through a stage where from 7-10 non stop crying. Think it’s called the witching hour and then suddenly it stops after what feels like years but is more likely a few weeks.
I know how hard this is and absolutely agree with others, if you’re overstimulated/frustrated/stressed, put him down and take a short break. You need to regulate yourself before you can do it well for him. I think what helps me is remembering the phrase ‘they’re not giving me a hard time, they’re having a hard time’. I used to feel so horrible if I couldn’t settle my little boy like I’d failed and he hated me but it could be a million reasons as to why he’s scared or sore or upset and our job is to hold safe space for them through it. Sometimes all we can do is be their comfort by their side while they let our their anger/pain/fear. Absolutely get people to help in shifts if you can because it’s a brutal job!
Are they crying when you hold them? Or is it just when you put them down? If they are content whilst you hold them it’s just because they want to be close..
@Emma both
It could be colic?
If it is between you snapping /his safety, then do what is necessary for you to remain calm. however, Your 5 week old baby is so precious and brand new to this world. He is not having a tantrum. He May have colic. Please please please do not do this - unless , again it is for his safety to set him down in a safe place and walk away . If you need help find it. A postpartum doula- often covered by insurance. A family member, your partner. Take him to the pediatrician to find out if it could be his digestion. I don’t think babies this old are even capable of tantrums. Something is bothering him. I am going to repost my response to another mother asking “when is it not psychologically damaging for a child to let them cry it out?”….