Life is miserable.

For us. (As in me and my partner) life is miserable. I have nowhere to go and he has nowhere to go. I believe it’s because we have no foundation, struggle with financial stability and have a lot of issues with giving up the “childless” lifestyle. He wants to ride the bike, play his game. While I’ve committed to a life of motherhood with no hobbies or “life” until my children are older to care for themselves. This is in NO way I’m blaming our children but it feels like everyday we are darn near breaking up or arguing. Then we talk about it, make up and then it’s the revolving door. I just want to know when will things be happy for us. I sob when I hear how I’ve ruined his life. How he has no freedom. And I’ve tried to leave but it’s not going to solve the problem. If anything that makes me a bad mother and partner.

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How about taking your child with you and you can start by going for walks if weather permits or visit kid friendly places or if there are any places for parents and children like we have EarlyOn centres here.. Even if it's going out for groceries or running errands..it will give you fresh air, will be an outing and you can may be make friends with kids.. you have to start somewhere.. bcz in the long run it's only gonna create more problems.. as he will be stuck too and won't have any freedom so you can plan things together and separately

@Shriya as I think hobbies and activities would help her express her frustrations I think a big part of the problem is him not adjusting to the new life they have. It’s not even half her problem I think. He could sell the bike for money if he wanted, but that’s his choice and I wouldn’t discourage a hobby only when it’s taking or using more money than can be expended at the moment. same with the game if he’s missing out on family time, I would voice you need breaks he needs to bond or something like that. Whether he wants to hear it or not you’re the only other one there so it’s the truth. Don’t let him put you down, ask him who really ruined his life, you or his child? If it’s you, there’s relationship issues he’s not happy with you. If it’s the child, he needs to grow up, get a pair, and be a father or please please get out and give that baby a happy life. That’s all that matters, if you think they have one and you have one

No yeah definitely 100%.. from little context I understood , I was in similar situation, my husband is a great husband and a father but at a point I was doing the same because I didn't want to go out, he was stuck in the house with me..and wouldn't even go without me.. so I started going out with baby and hubs..it worked out really well.. I was doing the same she is doing just given up everything and all my day and night just for the baby but balance is important. And yeah my suggestions is just based on whatever I could understand :)

I struggled with this a lot especially with the financial side of things and my partners previous job. He used to be a chef and was coming home at 3am. Often started work early too as he was a manager. It was getting too much for him so he quit and found a new job. His new job allowed him to have the weekends off, so there is consistency and he gets time to himself. We were constantly arguing when my daughter was 4 months. We’d just moved so that was stressful and we had less money. I also don’t have any friends now because I moved away from home to be with my partner so I was feeling stuck. My partner even though he has friends rarely sees them out of his own choosing but I always encourage him to because otherwise it’s literally just us all the time together. His new job pays less as well. We have to find things local to do. If you have family near you, would you be able to have them look after your children whilst you have some you time?

He shouldn’t be saying you’ve ruined his life that’s extremely wrong. Don’t blame yourself. I think perhaps you both could just be stuck, you have expectations of him as well and that’s okay. He needs to give you time to yourself as well to enjoy your hobbies. I don’t know about where you live but near us we have local libraries, some libraries are just 20 mins on bus as well and they host a lot of events. A lot now do like Lego clubs and stuff. Reading time for young babies and kids. Both you and your partner can also go to things. Some people do have difficulty adapting and I do think it’s easier for the women that give birth because you instantly have this connection and it’s a powerful thing. And it’s something that you should be proud of like the fact you do take care of them that makes you an amazing mother. Im not excusing the men that don’t do just as much work with the kids, I believe if you both have a child then the responsibility lies in both. If you both want to be in

A relationship then both need to do 50/50. Split equally. Being a parent is difficult. You can still both have things and do things you used to do and raise your children as long as you both make time for each other to do. I’m not saying you don’t but he definitely needs to do that for you otherwise you’ll feel trapped

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