Child gone no communication?

My mom and I are going through something similar. I cut her off abs she thinks I hate her and always have but it’s not true. I love her but I know just so tired of constantly going back and forth with her. It was getting to a point where I was so stressed out from my interactions with her and I had to cut her off. Have you tried talking to her about it and trying to understand her point of view ?

I've been the kid. And my mom is the kid, too. Her mother was hella verbally abusive and manipulative. She still (in her late 80s) claims she doesn't understand. But I've watched it. It's foul. And my father, who I went no contact with, was mentally unstable to the point I didn't feel physically safe, on top of also being verbally abusive and manipulative. But a better story would be why I don't talk to my mother's side of the family. They enjoy drama. Soap operas are childs play to these women. They love gossip, and, unfortunately, they specifically love to gossip about each other. Well, they stopped seeing me as a family member, and as more of a way to hear more about my mom. That happened about the same time that my parents divorced, and I was forced to live with said abusive, clinically insane father. They wanted the gossip on the divorce. And now, more than 20 years later, that's still all they see me as. I have 4 kids, a husband, I'm an artist, there's a lot more to me. But they give the 1/2

Cursory "how's the family" and then immediately start digging for information. They think they're slick, but I definitely catch it. This is all my aunts, btw. I just realized I never specifically said. my mother's 3 sisters. Anyway. It's so incredibly hurtful. Because I care about them, and would like to have a relationship. But they can't come at me with anything other than conversation revolving around my mother. And for my own sake, I can't do that. My mother's mother is just cold. She liked me when I was a kid, when she was younger. When I was pregnant with my eldest, she tried to convince me to abort. In the 8th month. Literally. 🙄 And then when I was pregnant with my second, she said she couldn't handle it and literally checked herself into a mental hospital. I wasn't married. She had to make her disapproval clear to the world as well as me in the most dramatic way, I guess. Then she started the same crap as my aunts, looking for info. And then she held my mother's actions against me. I was done.

@Alexis I have tried to talk to her, I've tried to get her therapy but she said she has had a bad experience with the last one she had so she's sworn them off. I thought a neutral 3rd party would be beneficial. So now we talk really well but mostly surface level. It's just such a weird dynamic. Like when someone is counting their days. I can feel it.

My daughter cut off contact with her dad. He chose her brother over her, doesn’t call, ask about her.. nothing. Hurt all 3 of us when they were little. And now he has the poor me pity party because she changed her number and won’t give it to him. Her choice.