Mom break/guilt

I’m a sahm and recently separated from my partner. Now that we’re no longer together, this weekend was the first time he’s had the kids and I had some alone time. At first I was super nervous, sad to leave them and questioned what I was going to do. I’m not used to doing much outside of mothering my children and it pains me a lot that I struggle with knowing myself outside of just being a mom. Well anyway, they’ll be returning home in another day and I’m now dreading it. I feel sad that I will not have all of this time and freedom. I know it’s not forever and this may give me the push I need to ask for help sooner so I do get little breaks here and there. I guess I just wanted to vent, and see if any other moms have experienced this tug of war of opposite emotions around alone time vs missing your kids? Thanks for listening and any support you may offer💓

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I experienced the same thing. My sister took my son for the weekend because i needed a break so bad. I was so upset when she brought him back a day early bc I was enjoying being able to sleep in and not have to get up at 7:30 in the morning. I was enjoying that I could finally shower during the day and not middle of night. There was so much I could do without it being interrupted. But also as soon they brought him home I realized how much I missed him. But I still felt the guilt that I wanted my freedom and missed being able to do what I would like. You are not at all alone. And I think asking for help so you can get days off would be so great.

Thanks for sharing Angel. I’m glad you touched on the showering in the middle of the day, uninterrupted. I noticed those little things added so much to my cup this weekend and I am grateful. Finding time for just stillness and quiet is also important.

I have a different question, are you still a SAHM being separate from your partner? I only ask because I feel as if I'm going down the same path and fear not being able to homeschool my child when the time comes because of it.

But I also feel the mom guilt as well, daily. I'm the primary parent and I hardly get any help from my husband and we're not even separated, which turns into a lot of resentment. There's no family around to ask for help and no one that I trust with her.

It sounds like you're going through a lot of changes and are having emotions that feel bigger than usual. That's normal, makes complete sense, and can give you stronger empathy as you are dealing with your childrens' strong emotions. When you go through a big swing like that, make a mental note of how it feels and remember that feeling when your kids have a hard time. They are going through a lot of changes, too. It will make you a stronger, more connected mom.

@Ashley🌻 I can definitely empathize with you. And I pray that your situation gets better and you receive the support you need. And yes I am still a SAHM currently and my goal is to continue to do so until at least the beginning of next year. I am mentally preparing myself to go back to work and put my youngest in day care if need be. And if it comes to it I know it’ll be temporary because I cannot and choose not to live that that type of lifestyle, just isn’t for me. I’m currently looking for ways to support us financially and still be home full time. It’s a goal of mine to homeschool as well. I have a first grader who’s in public school and a 1 year old. Feel free to message me any time.

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