Money problems/gap
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Sorry for what you’re going through plus the depression, I feel you exactly, I’m living with my husband who works full time and he earns a good money which he never mention how much , but he compares to Dr’s , he has a good connection in Africa with this unique tea farm, I opened his mind with everything, and we were 🤏🏽 close to see the products on Harrods shelves , some trips to Africa, boom , he’s with two women and a child in Africa, finding out I didn’t pressure him I told him my sis wants 2k £ will return within this week , i invested in a business then I made him confess everything afterwards, that was when I was pregnant, now my son his 6 months, we live in same house but different rooms, I want to move out but at the same time I don’t want to leave him not because I can’t , but because I was soft to him regarding the money while I have 5 kids with him , now I want him to taste what having multiple families look a like in these time of economy crisis,
Coz I now I’m seeing him struggling financially, and remember in our faith we don’t contribute a penny if we don’t want to , everything it should be on a man , anytime I’m fade up, I’ll be walking away, staying with stingy people is a disease,
If you're claiming universal credit cam you get the up to 85% top up for babes nursery? You have to pay upfront but they reimburse you sort of thing. Also if in England, are you getting the free 15 hours also? We're very much all our money is our money here but still living paycheck to paycheck with 0 savings and everything needs to be paid off monthly also. We're struggling, massively, in every area but money is absolutely one if our worse stressors for sure. Especially when before babe we'd have been fine with me being a sahm until school if cost of living and energy didn't rise either so I'm bitter over that too and been working my ass off trying to get promotions to help but ao for unsuccessful long term. It's just a joke in general. I'd definitely say you both need an adult sit down, all finances and outgoings on the table to work out what's going on and he needs to be honest and upfront or you step away. I'd absolutely stop buying got him bar family good shop and see what happens also
But be honest about why and go from there too. He can't expect you to be open and him not cx
Hi Emily. I feel so heartbroken to read that you’re going through this. My first question would be whether you’ve communicated exactly this to your husband: That you’d love to help create a budget and that it would help you be more comfortable/less worried about things? If yes and this has been his response, then unfortunately I’m of the thinking that you will have to start putting down boundaries and/or get professional support together. If he won’t budge on this, then yes, I would hope that the relationship is seriously at risk/might be better to be single. For context: my partner is very supportive of my anxiety and we work as a team financially. He appreciates my perspective, puts my needs in high priority, wires me money regularly to cover the costs of things because I manage the bills and go shopping for us. Respect and trust IS possible in a relationship. I know it’s hard with a baby.. but don’t settle for anything less. It’s important for your daughter to too.