Hating your husband??!
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Oh this is absolutely a thing !
Post partum rage hit me hard for about 6 months, I hated him and he would help but I think the hormones, tiredness and general huge change you’ve gone through really hits home and it seems like their life hasn’t changed at all. I really resented him. I had to sit him down and give him a list of things he was responsible for, nothing massive because he works full time but just like the washing up every night, 1 evening meal a week and a couple of times a week taking the toddler with him on the evening dog walk to give me a break…it always felt like he was managing to carve out all this time for himself and I never got any. Can’t say we’ve got the balance completely right but it is better. Def make him do more, just hand him the baby and say here you go give this bottle I’m going for a shower!
I think alot of men act differently when they're in front of their family. Mine will change nappies and that but she's out of then now but currently claims how tired he is. Yes he works full time 12 hour shifts 4 on 4 off. I work part time over 3 days whilst 7.5 months pregnant with our second. I'm exhausted. I've communicated this yet I got 2 hours sleep last night and I'm the one up with the toddler because his so tired despite him going to bed at 8pm last night whilst I was putting our toddler down. I'm back to work tomorrow where I have to get up at 5am to start at 7am and finish at 1pm. As soon as I get home I don't even get time to make myself lunch before I beckoned. Then come Wednesday he'll be on his first night shift of the 4 and I'll get home and he'll want to go back to bed ready for that night shift. Little does he know this week I've made plans to go out from work so he can really experience tiredness lol
No, because my husbands an equal partner. He feeds and changes baby. Tags in to give me breaks. We do 50/50 night shift. You need to hold him accountable to being a parent.
This is the first night my husband hasn't helped with the baby, and it's because I told him to go hangout with his friends he never sees. My baby is 4.5 months old. He wanted to start a family and be a dad so badly. He's an equal partner. I would 100% hate him if he didn't take care of his kids.
If my husband was like that then yeah I would start to hate him, no doubt. I fell in love more with my husband through the way he dotes on me and the way he dotes on the baby. So yeah, if he was absolutely useless and not doing his role as husband and father, I would start to hate him. I don’t blame you one bit. He’s only “showing off”- doing it in front of family. He needs to prove to you that he’s worthy. Ask for more help, don’t take any excuses, ask him to be more involved and act like a father and support you. “Babe can you do this while I do that”. It’s teamwork. Well, it should be.
I’m with Kellie. I loved my husband more than ever before after we had our baby because he went above and beyond to look after us both. He started doing most of the chores when I was pregnant and tired, and continued to do pretty much everything in the fourth trimester - all laundry, washing up, sterilising pump and bottles, grocery shopping, preparing meals, general life admin (like sorting baby’s paperwork and medical appointments). He got us into a good pump routine so that he could take baby for 6-7 hours every evening so that I could have a nice bath (which he would run, with bubbles) and sleep. He was incredible and I never had to nag him to do these things. He just felt that they were his duty as a husband and as a father. I think what you’re experiencing is very common but I don’t think it’s an inevitable thing that everyone goes through. Some men just clearly need to be held accountable more than others… I hope your husband sees the error of his ways!
If your husband isn't a good partner, yes, I would think hating them would be a thing but a better thing would be to expect change and end things if he doesn't step up.
I started just placing the baby next to him and saying you need to feed him I’m too full and need to pump, or I need to shower I haven’t since yesterday morning and walking away. I’ll have a bottle and everything ready for him all I need him to do is sit up and do it. He’s gotten better since then. I realized I tend to immediately do it myself and not ask or give him the chance.
My husband is amazing! He's been all about being a dad and loves it. He is an equal (if not more!) Partner with me. If your husband isn't, you need to have a serious conversation with him. Let him know what needs to change and what you expect. He helped create the baby, he needs to do his part in taking care of it. Don't just let him off because he's tired or busy. You are too and you don't get a break! Hold him accountable!
I mean, he works full/overtime constantly, manages all the finances, house, vehicles, bills, car maintenance, house maintenance etc. He's helpful when he's home but being a SAHM is literally my job now, and it's a lot easier than the career I had. I only get mad when he implies I'm doing something wrong like, sir, I know this baby inside and out and have a childcare lisence, I know what I'm doing. But I don't expect him to help with night feeds (he's 8mo and doesn't wake up much anymore) or baths or house chores.
I’d say to have a conversation with him..
You’ve gotta put pressure on him. I am not afraid to go as low as “I thought you wanted to be nothing like your own father”
No that's a divorce incoming. If he isn't putting in the effort, before, during and after kids. He's never going to
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@Samantha you're raising these kids with this person for almost 20 years. How many of us are confident our partners will treat us with love and fidelity that long?
@Tiffany if you married the right person, love and fidelity should be a given for however long!
@Amy well I know and I know I have that with my husband but I've been ignorant before
@Tiffany if you're not you shouldn't be married or having a kid? Jesus. I mean it's okay to be wrong, that's fine toxic people hide the toxic as long as they can. But actively choosing to be with someone when you're not confident and then having a whole damn baby with them? Nawww
It gets better once u start to demand he acts like a father . Literally demand everything right now. It does not get better with time unless u speak up and make him accountable. Speak up speak up speak up