Husband with son
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@Respectfully 💯 thank you. I needed to hear this
Red flags 🚩 so be weary of him. It’s just a baby but to be fair men do get a bit frustrated and feel useless during the newborn stage many babies just want mama. He may become a great dad when little one is older and more independent. Everyone has ages and stages that they love and don’t love. But if he’s starting to take it out on the baby or you then you might have to reevaluate.
This doesn’t sound crazy or abnormal. It’s hard for a lot of men to soothe tiny babies. My husband straight up says he doesn’t like the kids at this tiny age, he loves them and does his best but he can’t soothe them the way I can and that has to be defeating for some men. Give your husband a little grace they can get post partum too
From experience, I have 2 kids with a man who started out this way. I do it all other than financially by myself. Well he provides the house and electricity but nothing more. I do it ALL. If I was back at that point in my life when he first showed signs like this, I would leave. Try explaining that babies cannot help it and go from being warm and comfortable and content with their belly 24/7 to being ripped out of a womb having to adjust and they don’t know how to communicate that other than crying. Explain that this is both of y’all’s job and not just yours and you really need his help. If he doesn’t listen or try, I’d leave. I’m not joking
I understand where you husband comes from sadly I also get very frustrated when my baby is crying to the point that I have to put them in a room and just breath. The crying really rings my ears. And I don’t know the situation but if it’s the first baby most men don’t have that connection yet with babies. And maybe it’s the environment I get easily triggered when there’s too much noise or it’s a mess. It’s could be many things. Maybe just discuss on how he is doing.
My husband was like this too for a week or two. When I noticed how much he was struggling to soothe our baby I gave him some suggestions on what worked for me. I stayed in the room with him and talked him through some soothing methods and now he can do it by himself without saying those things. But tbh not a red flag, being a parent is an adjustment. I’ve said “idk how to help you” after feeding, changing, burping etc. Just be patient and help him find his own way to soothe without taking baby right away. Yall got this!
@Madi thank you!!! Makes me feel better that other moms are going through this and it’s just a season of learning.
Is he supporting you in any other ways? My husband had a hard time soothing our baby in that beginning since he was breastfed. He used to get frustrated and without patience too because he just couldn’t soothe him. It bothered me in that beginning but time passed and we both learned more about how to soothe him. He used to support me in many other ways like making sure the house was taken care of, our bottles were clean, food was made so I could just lay down and worry about soothing my baby. Definitely watch for red flags but don’t give up on a good man just because he is still learning how to become a dad
Read this to someone who has tried and tried to have a baby. The fact that you were blessed to have a baby—a baby that cries often is a miracle. A gift. The problem here is definitely not that beautiful baby. I’m not sure what your husband’s issue is, but, let’s start with the fact that your son did not ask to be here. He’s crying because he needs something, not to be fussed at and put down to continue crying. Something tells me you know this is a red flag, but need to hear it from someone else. Your baby’s telling you!