He Blames Me

He says (God) hasn't given my another baby bc "I'm" not ready for the increased responsibility... All bc I haven't made anything sweets and didn't feel like making dinner tonight ive been a bit tired lately... So I get off work and I go and clean the kitchen and clean up around the house and I go to rest. He comes home (didn't work today) from the gym and is asking what's for dinner I tell him I don't feel like cooking and he gets upset and says well damn I should just pick me something up to eat and I asked him why don't you just cook something I'm tired. He says well why don't you just cook I went to the gym, I work and stand all day and I do all this why can't you just cook. See this is why God hasn't blessed you with a baby cause you're not ready for more responsibility. And I asked him what do you mean by that? I'm just saying that you would have a another baby if you were really ready and responsible enough to take on that motherly role and duty. And I say cooking and cleaning aren't just motherly responsibilities that's adult responsibilities what are you really trying to get at because you know I had a miscarriage are you trying to say that that was my fault? And he's like no it's not what I'm saying but you know what I'm saying. And I'm like then what are you really saying because you know what happened. He's like yeah I know what happened I remember. I had a miscarriage back in 21' and it tore me up and it's still tears me up to this day. And I think it really bothers me because 1 he couldn't come in there with me because it was in the middle of covid 2 he wouldn't he didn't take me there I had to drive myself 3 my miscarriage always gets compared to his first child's mothers miscarriage and because I miscarried was so early in my pregnancy it's like my miscarriage did not matter to him it's always compared to his first child's mother's miscarriage because she was further along and I guess she was almost at the end of hers when she lost her child so it was as if he was more so invested. I'm just really hurt right now because I miscarried around my birthday so I kind of think about that every year and I still have dreams about my baby his name his face I see him.😭

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That was a really horrible thing for him to say. You’re right in stating he needs to share household responsibilities. I’m so sorry he went there. So wrong and ugly. I get that he went through trauma with his first loss also but it’s just not appropriate to compare. I’m sorry he’s doing all of that.

It’s not your fault love 🥺, I think he’s jackass tbh because that was not fair to you. Your god is not punishing you and everything he’s said to you was probably the ugliest things he could have and no one deserves that kind of treatment.

Not being mean, but maybe you’re not pregnant because God doesn’t see fit for him to be a father. Maybe God is tryna give you the signs to move on.

I love how he only sees you needing the responsibility of being more responsible while he can’t even cook and compares you work to going to gym like that’s going to befit the both of you, him working out 🤣 what a man child Maybe you miscarried because he couldn’t be bothered with ensuring your well being enough to relax and focus on rest so ya have a healthy pregnancy ALSO please keep in mind all early miscarriages happen because of something being wrong with the sperm not the egg, it’s not your fault

He has rocks for brains. I'm with Ms. Keisha on this one. You are not the problem

I think the only thing not "ready" about this situation is that this guy is not a good partner and doesn't sound like the person you should have a baby with.

Say it louder “THEY ARE ADULT RESPONSIBILITIES”. Also do not have a baby with this man.

Sounds like he’s the one that wants the mothering tbh. What a disgusting thing to say, what awful actions to take and what a nasty attitude to have for the person he’s meant to love and protect. If he wants a maid, send him back to his mother’s house. I agree with @Keisha it’s him whose not ready and it’s you who deserves better than that human for a partner xx

Thank you ladies for the comments, this situation is one I'm trying to get out of but it's hard. So much as happened in the passed few months @Keisha I thought the same thing just couldn't say it at the time just I was just shocked he said that to me. Not to mention when I had the miscarriage idk how she found out but his bm made a joke about it on FB 😔. And I can't send him back to his mama house cause she sadly passed away a while back and I was the one who was helping take care of her before she passed..

And a few months before she passed his mom asks what you don't want to have a baby by a "distinctive feature he has " man like that is supposed to make me want to have his baby more. I don't know if he had told her about it which I'm pretty sure he did cuz they used to talk everyday they were really close. At that time that comment just made me feel weird and ganged up on.

Please don’t have kids with someone like that… I’m begging you 😬

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