I regret having my last child

I feel like a shit person & parent for feeling this way towards my own kid who didn’t ask to be here . To give quick run down of the situation. My husband and I were done having kids after our 2 boys . After 5 years my husband kept begging and begging for another baby as he really wanted to try for a girl . I gave in under the condition he would help me more around the house and I wouldn’t be stuck alone caring for everything . He loves video games and it has been a source of a lot of issues . He would rarely come to bed with me at the same time . He’d get home and be in the office playing until the next day pretty much . I cried myself to sleep so many times . I would beg him to just come to bed and spend time with me . He didn’t care to make me feel special at all while I was pregnant . He didn’t even go get me a bag of candy at a gas station if I wanted to . all the cute things you would expect your partner to care about while you’re carrying their child , you know . I had a C-section and I still had to take the boys to school bcus he didn’t help . Fast forward a year later to today . I’m extremely overwhelmed caring for all 3 kids with no help from him . My family is states away and he doesn’t have family here either . I regret having this baby bcus I feel like I just got stuck another 4 years until she’s in school. I feel my life is paused while his life didn’t change . I’m miserable and I hate I daydream about life before I had my last baby. I was able to handle everything by myself . Now i can barely keep up with anything 😭 Idk if i have postpartum or just the situation or if I’m just a shitty person but I hate I feel this way . And I hope it goes away someday.