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My Fiancé came upstairs and asked me again what I wanted to do for tea (said he wanted a kebab earlier but I didn’t, I wanted a different place so I said I’d go for mine, not to worry. So he said well can you order now and go for me too I’m starving (he had been out in the morning getting lunch, filling my car/helped me tidy up the downstairs and wanted to watch a rugby match) I said yeah and was fine with going, but was in the middle of sorting my clothes out. He left and went downstairs…. A while after, I ordered and I then heard him open the door and just shouted down (not rude or shouting in an argumentative way) and said “I know, I’m going now, don’t worry” knowing in the back of my mind he’d be thinking bloody hell look at the time I’m starving when is she going? (I do get distracted sometimes tbf) He asked me what did I say…. So I repeated myself and he then shouted angrily “I didn’t say anything so WIND YOUR FUCKING NECK in” and shut the living room door. I was really upset with him then, so I didn’t respond. Then when I came downstairs to leave he had a different tone and asked if I want him to come with me, he said he felt bad making me go out I say no, and get in the car and leave. I go get our food, nip into Tesco get some snacks and his fave biscuits . I come home and I’m still upset, he asks me if I’m okay…. I say yes initially but then I say well I didn’t like you swearing at me before - he instantly turns cold and angry again and instead of saying, “I know I’m sorry” he says “Well, why did I swear ? Tell me why I swore??” I reply “I know but it wasn’t needed” he said “it doesn’t need to be a big thing” I explained again that I don’t like it and it wasn’t needed.. he said “right, okay” grabbed his food and went into the living room. I sat in the dining room, he came in, looked at me and left again. He later then barged in and says bluntly, not apologetic or sounding like he is trying at all tbh to be friends again “are you going to carry this on all night or are we going to be friends” I say “no we can be friends but I didn’t like that you swore at me”. He cut me off and said “have you heard how you speak to me sometimes since youve been pregnant it’s appalling!? do you not see how contradicting/how that’s much if a double standard that is? You can shout down at me but when I shout it’s me in the wrong?” “I didn’t shout” “oh did you not, didn’t shout down?” It wasn’t accurate I didn’t shout in that way, I wasn’t aggressive, I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t being angry with him and again, hes gotten mad at me for being upset with him due to his reaction. “Eating in here on your own on a Saturday, it’s pathetic” I explained that I was upset, and just sat in here coz he left with his food and we hadn’t sorted anything and he basically said I shouldn’t be upset, I speak to him appalling so it’s time he did it back like we are tit for tat children. I’m blood growing his child. His response was to say “right well I’m going laying in bed then” he actually went to bed and went to sleep Aka leaving the conversation, stone walling me so that I can’t continue. Didn’t think to move anything so I wouldn’t hurt myself when trying to come to bed, didn’t try and sort anything out on my side of the bedroom which I had been in the middle of sorting before. I was upset and felt his attitude when I came back after telling him why I was upset was ridiculous so I stayed away. He didn’t even say thank you for getting him his fave biscuits. Just like he likes to walk away from the situation, I wanted a fucking minute. I never swear at him. I just feel like I hate how he argues and turns everything around back onto me. I don’t know what to do going forward.

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I would not stay in a relationship like this. it sounds horrible im so sorry

He was probably just hungry and snapped? Don’t think this argument is that deep xx

@Lola agree with this. Sounds like a misunderstanding of times, and him probably feeling a bit snappy at the time. Like we all do sometimes. Men are wired differently, they do f hear you saying how they made you feel, they hear you telling them his they’re wrong and want to defend themselves. If he hasn’t used the F word would you still have felt the same way? Could he have misread your tone given it was shouted so he could hear and not face to face?

He was clearly hungry, if he fell asleep that fast he was likely tired (from running your errands all day) you know yourself when you’re hungry and tired you can take things the wrong way, in the moment he’s snapped, he’s tried to move past it, without apologising, but he’s still tired so he likely won’t be rational until he’s fed and rested

@Lizzie I understand what you’re saying, he’s already napped though after errands- he’s just a man who likes sleep. The errands he did for me was getting petrol & picking up dinner /helping me tidy downstairs. sleeping or leaving the house is how he deals with anything remotely resembling an argument after he’s said his bit and shouted xx

@Rebecca if he hadn’t sworn at me and wasn’t Agassi he I probably would not feel the same, but I agree with you xx

Your feelings are valid… it’s not about the snapping it’s about apologising for snapping… everyone snaps and says things they shouldn’t it how you go about it afterwards and some responsibility… to me I wouldn’t deal with that… it’s gaslighting… he can see its upset you and would rather continue… all he needed to say was sorry if you thought I was being rude I think we just miscommunicated I was also hungry but didn’t mean anything by it… a simple sorry would go a long way even if tired or food related…

It just sounds like a petty argument. He was hungry and made you very aware of that when you agreed to go get the food. Sorry girl, you’re in the wrong. You shouldn’t have said you’d go get the food straight away if you weren’t going to do that. Also, by what he’s saying I totally believe that you do probably getting angry or mardy at him (whether that’s because you’re pregnant/hormonal or just because that’s who you are) so 🤷🏼‍♀️ He tried to make it up to you after lightly snapping! And I say lightly because if that’s all he said, try checking out other people’s posts on here. Sounds like you noticed him making an effort after and you chose to play martyr for no reason. Also, why should he move things on your side of the bed that you were sorting. You’re an adult, you made that mess, clean it up. I’m also pregnant and I don’t expect my partner to clean up my mess. Also judging by your post, I fully believe you also swear in arguments. Both apologise and move on with your day.

The argument itself might not have been that big of a thing and maybe got blown out of proportion but that does not give anyone the right to talk to you like a piece of shit. If you don’t think you should be spoke to one way you should not just stand for it. It doesn’t matter who is in the wrong or if they’re hungry. Being hungry is not an excuse to be nasty. You need to have a conversation when you are both calm and can discuss moving forward how you both feel and what you both think is acceptable or not.

@Amy I didn’t say I was going straight away. He wanted me to order my food and go get his on the way back. I was busy in the middle of something. Playing martyr how? Making an effort to avoid any accountability, no apology. I don’t snap at him, but this isn’t about anything other that that situation. He should move the things because I had to stop what I was doing, leave the house get our food and before I could finish my dinner he decided to goto bed and turn the lights off so I couldn’t continue or finish/put away what I was doing when I had finished. There was no warning of going to actual sleep. He said he was going to lay in bed which means on his phone. Nothing to do with cleaning up my mess. If I had known his plan was to sleep, I would have gone up with him and finished so that I didn’t stumble later on when I came to bed. This isn’t tit for tat like we are in highschool.

Honestly, it just sounds like a very normal argument between a couple. Let it go my friend. Every couple argues. This is completely normal. ☺️

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