Do ur in laws ask if they can come visit or do they just say “we are coming today”? This happens to me every time . They’ve never asked.
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They need to realize you are grown and have lives of your own. They should always ask if they can come or not just because they are in laws doesn't mean the door is always open for them.
Husband and I both work weird hours so if they pop by there’s a good chance no one will be home lol. Popping by for lunch I could see but staying all weekend no notice? Hell no
I wouldn’t make any effort to make beds and have the house looking good and if they act shocked you can just say that it’s because you weren’t expecting them. It takes a lot of prep to have guests over.
It’s ok to establish boundaries 😊 my family is like that. When I had my daughter, my mom and sister would pop up and stay for hours 😂 and my daughter’s father would be so annoyed. I had to tell them that it’s not just me living here and sometimes we want a quiet home or just time to prepare for company.
My mother in law *might* give me a heads up. my father in law always asks
She lives 2500 miles away. She just tells us when she’s visiting. And then I beg her to stay longer 😂
Mine live 2 minutes away. I made boundaries when our daughter was a newborn because I didn't want her coming in while I was having a break down 😅 nowadays I'm a lot more relaxed about it but I've also grown to not give a f--- about what she thinks of the state of our house etc. She is nice to me but ends up spilling all her judgements to my partner and he ends up venting it all back to me. I dont care anymore. If they were staying overnight I would definitely require at least a weeks notice.
When we lived closer my in-laws would try and visit every other weekend and try to stay like 5 days at a time. It was awful. We finally just started telling them no...I think it might be time to set some boundaries.
Mine are coming in from out of town for my LO bday and when the trip was planned we said only grandparents and they are bringing my partners daughter without asking. Luckily we love her and it’s fine but we just moved in and aren’t fully ready for extra people plus even my partner thinks they should have asked
I dont overly get along with mine & they only lives a couple miles away and my children think theyre strangers. My 2nd has only seen them 3 times in his life. Ive always told them theyre welcome to come see the children, take them out or Ill drop them off with no issues but they clearly dont want to be involved Youre allowed to set boundaries for your own family. Worst comes to it just tell them youre going out so they need to leave by a certain time x
Mil comes here whenever and whatever time she shows up eats and leaves … she shows up at 5 am the other day
I would answer back "thanks MIL. We are busy this weekend. We can plan it for another time". Her assuming you gonna be available is weird.
My MIL used to just come over and WALK INTO MY HOUSE. She wouldn't knock because my husband gave her the code if she'd ever need to come over and we aren't home. That doesn't mean use the code whenever you want in our house. I told my husband that was not to happen anymore and I'm guessing he talked to her because now she asks permission and knocks so I can open the door. Boundaries are important. Once she walked in when I was still in my bra and underwear with a robe on over it. That was the last straw for me.
If it’s not convenient then just politely tell them that the day/time they’ve suggested doesn’t work for you 🤷♀️
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It’s a courtesy thing and you’re totally valid for requesting that they ask before
My mil doesn’t drive so we just get calls every week about how she hasn’t heard from us in a month 😂 and then we go pick her up to hang out and repeat for infinity.
@SquishyMommy1 my parents like 3000 miles away I’m always like just cancel the return flight or take me home with you lol
Mine just don’t make any effort to visit us. My husband is the youngest son and often gets forgotten about. I would hate it if they just came by though.