Hard conversation

So we were having a hard conversation last night about this whole concept of being “Head of household”. I don’t disagree with this title, but I disagree with the way men tend to view/attach to it. So I ask what it means and looks like to him. He described basically to sum up that it’s someone who is responsible FOR and responsible OF the household. And then I shared specifically what I consider being responsible of the household looks like; the person who is doing majority of the childcare — which includes feeding, washing, putting down for naps and sleep and doing the nighttime wake ups, researching what toys are developmentally appropriate and excelling, making the appointments, taking to the appointments, keeping track of community events and extracurriculars and social life, educating (like homeschooling or researching what school you want the child to go to). List goes on, you get the idea. Someone that plans where the vacations will be, what the budget is and what we’ll do on trips. Someone who keeps track of household toiletries and restocks them without having to be asked to do so. Someone who gets the cleaning supplies and tries to set up an equitable system. Someone who gets the furniture we need. Someone who ends up doing majority of the cleaning to ensure the family can enjoy their shared spaces. Someone who meal preps and then who grocery shops. I asked him who is doing that in our dynamic and he answered it’s me. So then I said it basically feels like a slap in the face to me for him to shove down my throat constantly that he is the head of the house (under God’s instruction) when he doesn’t do any of that. He just goes to work and parents based off his vibes and opinions. I have to constantly tell/ask him when things are dirty to dispose of or clean them. I have to ask him to cook dinner whenever he is home for it. Going to work and financially providing is certainly appreciated and a big part to the stability of the household and I’m sure he’s very tired after working a FT job and a PT job. I just feel neglected and like it’s expected of me to do all of these things simply because I’m a woman and that’s the normal thing for women to do and being placed in a position of lesser than and needing to submit to the man because that’s what the Bible says.