He’s okay with seeing me struggle to hold it all together under the enormous pressure of managing the house and the child because that’s what he saw his mom do before and after the divorce. He’s okay with seeing me sacrifice the life I had planned. But as soon as he starts to experience an ounce of that pressure of what it takes past providing financially, he folds. It’s starting to feel as if maybe he doesn’t really like us and that’s why it’s so hard for him? He’ll sometimes begrudgingly do the things after I’m pulling his teeth asking him to do them versus him doing it because he loves his wife and recognizes her as a full human being and wants her to have as joyful/peaceful of a life as she can so she can show up to raise their child better. Idk I just feel like he gets to be a human outside of parenthood while I’m just mother. To our child and to him. And I’m tired of living this way.
I could have written this myself . Reasons why love isn't enough. Why I'm starting to consider divorce. They'd have to do much more if we'd split. We're not even appreciated.
Think it’s more of a financial/tax thing. I claim head of household.
And I think I would show up for this role with a more open heart if my needs were also being taken care of outside of food, water, and shelter. He kinda indirectly called me a gold digger because of the “lifestyle” I want and I had to QUICKLY make it known that yes, I didn’t want to submit to a life of poverty. That hobbies cost money (and he knows this as a runner but doesn’t complains when he pays registration fees or buys new shoes). That taking our kid to festivals and community events or classes sometimes COSTS MONEY. That even just showering once a day is a luxury that he has while I’m lucky to get in a shower 1x week. He gets to pursue a culinary career head on while I have to put my counseling career on the backside because it’s not feasible to finish my degree full time right now. I’m trying to remind myself there are seasons for everything but truthfully this szn is whack and we’ve been in this szn for the entirety of our marriage.