I’m so mad right now

My daughter’s dad takes the first wake up she does around 2am. I wake up just now at 5:30 and he’s in bed and I don’t remember him coming in. I ask him if she ever woke up he says no. I ask him if he ever fed her he says no. I ask him if he brought new bottle up he says no. I go downstairs to make a new bottle and the bottle we had put on at 10:30 he put in the fridge (or so I thought) so I threw it away and he also left the entire mason jar of milk out. Thank god the milk was still semi cold so I put it back in the fridge. But I looked at her Owelet and saw he did in fact get up with her at 2:30 and he also fed her. So I just threw an entire bottle of milk away for no reason. I’m so mad. I went to bed and told him what he did and he said “I’m sorry I was half asleep”. Why is he even responding if he’s half asleep. I’m so aggravated I left and I’m on the couch. I threw a whole bottle away but if I hadn’t had to come downstairs I’d have lost a whole 24oz jar. I’m just mad either way We have an app that’s used for her to chart all of this. I’ve downloaded them in his phone, logged him in… he refuses to use them. So when he gets up I never know how much she ate, what her diaper was like, nothing. If I had seen what her did on the app I would have waited to get up. Because with her there’s no way she was fed at 2:30 and up at 5:30, and I was right she went back to sleep. Again I’m just mad about the whole thing.

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I don’t mean this in any mean way but girl those apps are such an added stress, I tried them for a few days and would cry bc it was too much to keep track of and if things didn’t line up I worried so much if my baby was eating enough or too much or if I was going something wrong. When I stopped logging every things my baby did and just watched for her hunger cues and sleep ques life so much easier. What you want done one way your partner might not agree I am learning that me and my husband have different ways of doing things and I would be really annoyed if he told me I was doing it wrong so I’ve had to back way off and let him parent the way he knows and me do the same - of course as she gets older we will need to be on the same page about bigger things but for now try to let go a little. Again I’m coming from a place of love bc I did all of these things too and we had a period of arguing all the time but it got better when I let go a little

I would be frustrated too… I’ve caught my partner who has left our freezer open and my milk had started to thaw… and I’m jealous you have a partner willing to get up at night so you don’t have to.

@Alyssa the apps have way WAY reduced our stress!! Everyone is different.

I hear good and bad with the apps. For me it’s an easy way to look back and tell the pediatrician things. When she first came home she wasn’t gaining weight, and now she barely sleeps during the day. So it was easy to log and look back. But in hindsight I also understand that if every little thing doesn’t get logged it’s not the end of the world. I’m so grateful for what he does especially seeing some moms basically do 80 % on their own.

Sorry but I wouldn’t be to mad at him. He messed up it happens to the best of us. It’s awesome that he’s helping with night wakings. It can be hard to have perspective when you’re tired though.

I totally get the milk thing bc breast feeding is hard. I’m exclusively pumping and just a bit of spillage when pouring used to set me off in the beginning. I’ve calmed down some with that but considering the milk comes from our blood, it’s so much work to produce. In terms of logging, i still used the app bc I’m more a type a personality and my husband is more relaxed so i don’t bothering him much anymore about logging feeds and changes. I completed stopped logging sleep bc it was driving me crazy. 🤪

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