How to respond to racists "jokes"?

If you don't want to challenge him, then one option is to ask for him to "explain his jokes" as he then may realise that they're not funny

Another privileged white man thinking he can pass his racism off as a joke. What a douche. If your sister isn't going to check him someone should if not he's going to keep getting away with it. This is tricky but depends how politically correct you want to be, honestly there's no tippy toeing around racism. If it were me I would call him out in front of everybody but then again I'm not worried about burning bridges. In this situation there's no pulling him to the side there's no talking to your sister it's either you confront him about it or he keeps doing it.

Yeah play dumb and be like "I don't get it, what does that mean?"

Definitely be like how is that funny can u explain so I can laugh too and then when they try to explain they get frustrated and just eventually stop doing it

Id confront him next time he make one of them ‘jokes’ and ask him to explain what’s what’s funny about it. Or if you don’t want to do that have a word with your sister about it and ask her to have a word with him. Cos in reality she should be sticking up for her niece as well

Is there more to this because the things you've mentioned don't make him racist

@Stacey he said he wanted to do blackface for their Halloween party, I'd definitely assume someone "joking" about that is racist

@Stacey I hope you’re not purposefully being ignorant. I’m assuming, The first racist remark was in regards to how a lot of the Hispanic culture can be seen working on cars. The second remark is him saying he’s going to do black face for Halloween?! What more of an explanation do you need.

@BoyMom It's ignorant to assume someone is racist when they haven't actually been shown to be. Comedians make these type of remarks all the time that does not make them racist.

@Raqi whereas you should actually be assuming he's an idiot. This doesn't make him racist.

@Stacey sounds like he's a racist idiot then 🤷🏻‍♀️ And it makes me wonder a bit about you since you seem too eager to write off his racist "jokes" as simply idiotic. Now, there are ways to joke about sensitive topics like race, gender, sexuality, etc that *are* actually funny and thought provoking. But for some reason I doubt those are the kinds of comments he's making

@Raqi Wonder away lol you're still incorrect and the information given in this post doesn't show him to be racist. "Eager" 🤣

You’re a better person than I am. I would tell him to fuck off. But if you’re trying to keep more of the peace, I like @Ella idea. I would question him. It might make him feel stupid and embarrassed.

Asking them to explain can be a good approach. But also I would just tell him he’s being racist, it’s not acceptable, not funny and he needs to stop. I would also ask my sister wtf - separately in case there’s something going on there that she hasn’t stopped it herself. I know some people find it difficult to speak up but it’s your responsibility as a parent to back your child and let them know from an early age this is not ok. Regardless of it being family or anyone else. We should all be actively anti-racist whether it affects us personally or not but even more so as a parent of a mixed child I think you need to speak up and put a stop to this right now.

Honestly I have no clue what that orange shirt joke even means? You will have to say something to your sister or straight up tell him that he needs to refrain from ever making any racist jokes or any jokes for that matter towards you and especially towards your daughter again. Its unacceptable and he needs to get off the high horse he thinks he is on because the second someone makes a joke about his pasty ass, he will get butt hurt.

@Sol prison jump suits are often bright colors like orange, but it could have also been about working on the car

@Stacey this is borderline gas lighting. The OP stated how uncomfortable it makes her.

My Husband is a white American and I’m a black African, our kid is biracial. We get a lot of ppl from both sides who are quite ignorant and say slick shit abt our son’s appearance! When we hear these racists or colorists statements, we don’t care if it’s jokes or not or who it’s coming from! we stand on business & will literally nip that shit in the bud in the moment! My Husband & I don’t play with our relationship and we certainly ain’t goin play abt our kids! We’ve had very heated arguements with certain family members who didn’t understand our “sensitivity” & our pushback! In the end, Communication is key! My Husband & I arent “passive” or docile when it comes to protecting our multi cultural & racial family experiencing the ignorance of the world.

@Violeta💕 Being uncomfortable doesn't make something racist so no it isn't gaslighting or borderline. The man she's talking about is rude not racist unless (as I already asked) there is more to it she hasn't mentioned. Let's not just say random words where they don't apply it never ends well.

@Stacey sorry, I don't understand. Can you explain how you interpret "trying to get in touch with her heritage" can be a comment that's not racist? What other hypothetical interpretation could there be?

@Stacey so your questioning whether she knows what racism is?

@Ella because this isn't about colour I've heard white say that sorta joke to another white person. I think the guy is rude and trying to be edgy. Might even feel uncomfortable and that's why he "jokes" but her post doesn't give enough information. We don't know how this was said, the tone, previous context, if it's common for him and the sister to be like this. We do know he is with her sister and wants to be around so I don't feel he has a hatred for their skin colour at least. Unless there is more to it I just won't jump straight to racist for the sake of it. Also thank you for being polite asking this I appreciate it.

@Violeta💕 You'd need to ask him rather than assuming

So I consulted with my mother on this and she suggest for you to say that "your jokes are hurtful"

@Stacey okay but the word "heritage" has a racial connotation by default. Maybe you interpret "racist" to mean "hates POC" but most people interpret "racist joke" as a joke that is making fun of people based on assumptions or stereotypes about their race.

@Ella Everyone has heritage it isn't a racial thing. I don't interpret it, I am speaking solely on what racism actually is and this post didn't mention any.

The racial jokes slide when it’s at me directly. Depending on the time of day. But when it comes to my kid?! I’m fuckin someone up 💯💯💯