Missing milestones
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This is really tough and it’s tough at whatever age you make the decision/ are forced to go back to work. My baby will be a year and whilst I’m so grateful for the extra time off I still don’t feel anywhere near ready and cry even thinking about it. Baby still isn’t walking etc and there’s still a good chance I will miss it which would break my heart. I try to frame it like the extra income will give baby a better life and they will thrive in nursery once they settle with new friends and new experiences. Sending love ❤️
Oh mama it's hard and I feel your heart break. My LG started nursery a couple of afternoons a week and has been going full time since 12 months. I don't feel like I've missed any significant milestones though - she didn't walk until 17months and did it after a week away on holiday. I know nursery typically won't tell you about them doing new milestones if you haven't seen it so you don't know you've missed it if that makes sense. I spent the back end of my mat leave half counting down how much time I had left off and having regrets and I wish I'd just soaked it up. Baby will be fine, your bond with baby will be fine and yes it sucks, but you're not alone
My boy went to a childminder at 11 months and he didn’t do either of those big milestones there. His first steps were after dinner one evening where we were practising hard on it at 14 months and his first word / sound was mum at about 8 months before he even started. You won’t miss it.
Feeling this! My LB is 4 months and I’ll be going back to work when he’s 9 months, I’m lucky that my mum is going to help with him until he’s just over a year but then he’ll be going to nursery and I just feel so guilty 🥲 I just wish I was in a position financially that I didn’t need to work so I could be with my baby 24/7🥺 it’s such a difficult time x
🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️ I was the same!! Chose her nursery when she was only just a month old and I was like 🥲🥲🥲 MY BABY IS JUST A BABY. But she’s now been going for 3 weeks and she is absolutely loving it! I had my first piece of art work this week. I get photo, and food updates daily. And the amount of messy play she does- which she loves! It’s so stimulating for her. You’ve still got 5 months off with baby, enjoy it! They grow up so quickly I’m almost certain you’ll be around to see his first words. There are things we’re going to miss out on unfortunately- that’s just the reality of it. But you have to look at the bigger picture; you’re going back to work to give your child all that you can. They say the younger they are the quicker they settle too. My LO has genuinely only cried once when I left her, and half hour later I got a photo of her playing and smiling. You’ll be fine 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
I'm sure I will feel exactly the same as you. I'm going to have to go back to work when this baby is 6 months and it's going to kill me. I know it is but like you and so many others we just don't have the option as I would have to spend 3 months unpaid and and 3 before that on pay so low we would never manage even the rent never mind anything else. Have you chosen a nice nursery? What's helping me is we have actually found a nursery that I trust completely and they're so wonderful with my step son already. I'm sure the nursery can not say a word if she hits a first. The important thing is is that you'll be able to provide for her. She'll be cared for, happy and safe and warm and healthy. She will always be YOUR little girl forever and nothing will ever change that. Also, as she gets older and can communicate you'll have so many wonderful moments from what they do there and what they've learnt and the experiences they've had.
I think they tend to do those big milestones for the first time at home where they feel most comfortable. I found both walking and talking just weren't the eureka moments I thought they'd be - they happen so gradually over weeks really. My daughter went at 9 months and I remember feeling like you do but more than 2 years later, I don't feel I've missed anything and I'm so happy she has other people to learn from and so many friends.
It's really hard but I'm in the same position some people do just have to go to work the socialisation will help them and they'll just need time to settle in.. the mos important thing is baby knows they're loved and may be nice to have the balance of work too! Be kind to yourself you're being a good role model for your baby and just try to be mindful in the time you have now