Need advice but toxic and raw

Me and my husband been in long distance for some time now we barely communicate due to fights or whatever he's been taking me for granted and doesn't believe I will leave whenever I say I will... oh and he always expects me to reach out first rather than him which is a first in our relationship... he's basically been letting time pass he's a big dismissive avoidant, stonewalls and has no sense of urgency... how do I wake this man up or should I just divorce him ?