BABY DADDY DRAMA

Sounds like your second child 🙄 he needs to grow a pair and help equally look after HIS child

Hey, I totally get why you're frustrated. It sounds like you're doing a lot to take care of your baby, and it's tough when you feel like you're not getting the support you need from your partner. Have you tried talking to him about how you're feeling and the importance of sharing the responsibilities of looking after your little one? Open communication can really help in situations like this.

@Shannon yeah i’ve tried talking, he doesn’t listen and when he does he gets mad and says ‘my job is to provide your job is to look after her’ just breaks my heart would it kill him to put down his phone and help out? like i understand he works but i never catch a break from my baby sometimes i go like 4 days without a shower he just doesn’t care enough tbh

To put into perspective, my partner has multiple sclerosis and he works 6 days a week on a farm. Yet he comes home everyday and does the nighttime routine. Your man has no excuse, doesn’t he want a relationship with his daughter? I’m sorry, you deserve so much better than this x

Hi Sophie! I hope you are doing okay today and right now at least! It sounds like you are handling a whole lot and btw you are being a super mom and partner (if nobody has told you). My partner and I had a similar situation and the only thing that got through to him was “yes this is my job but when do I get to break?” In a sense that when he comes home it’s a team effort. Maybe that can help, I hope it does because mommas need a break and love too!!

@Aria thankyou for that i really needed it, i’ve said that to him that if this is my job then im working 24 hours a day 7 days a week when’s the end of my shift or my day off and even still he’s like it’s what u signed up for when being a mum. it’s just so sad as when i found out i was pregnant he was very much like i’ll help you and do everything i can to support u and baby financially and physically and since she’s been here it’s been nothing but a lie, had such a hard pregnancy due to him aswell just feel so upset and let down like i don’t think i’m asking for too much? everyone else’s bd seem to be able to come home from work and help out but he thinks he’s different. like he feeds her on very rare occasions if he physically has to cos i’m doing 100 things at once but every time he does he’s like ‘i’m not doing this all the time just so you know’ like why make the comment? just feed her i didn’t ask for u to do it all the time

Think your partner is more a child that the actual baby. Mine works 5 days a week and his is actually tiring but still comes home and helps with the kids, dinner and cleaning. He loves spending time with them. Maybe talk to him and if nothing changes then you know where he can go 🚮 xxx

I don’t get too much help but it’s more cos he does shift work, so he’s either coming in at 2am or leaving 4/5am. So odd windows. He will have her whilst I shower etc. or sometimes I just place her next to him and walk off and don’t say a thing. Whenever he comes home from work his dinner is always made for him too and I do all housework and cleaning, food shopping etc. my girl is 15 weeks and it does get easier once you have some sort of routine but I try not to rely on him too much. Having said that on days off he will do more and he does her tummy time when he can if on the early shift. I kind of knew this will happen so don’t even ask for help anymore. Just try leaving your baby next to him and walk off, he can’t just ignore her.

@Sophie I hear you. It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed and unsupported in taking care of your little one. It's tough when communication with your partner feels challenging, especially when you need help and understanding. Remember, it's important to express your needs and feelings openly, even if it's difficult. Your well-being matters too, and taking care of yourself is essential for being the best mum you can be. Hang in there, and don't hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or even professionals if needed. You're doing an amazing job, and you deserve some self-care time too. 💕👶🚿

You sound like a brilliant mama. I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time. Your partner needs a reality check. Do you make his tea on an evening? If so stop. Don’t do anything for him. Do you have a supportive family?

@Sophie what does he think this is Victorian times?! He’s being absolutely horrible and there’s no excuse for it! Did he not want this baby? Do you have a wider support network maybe someone you could visit to get support for you and maybe so he can get his act together and realise what he’s missing?

Do you have an income or are you actually relying on him? I couldn’t deal with that and would have to give him the ultimatum.

I'd tell him if looking after baby is "your job" then nothing else is. Including his dinner and everything else that needs doing. Sort yourself out and baby and if he's so set on it he can look after himself. Moaning that he's hungry. We'll sort some food out for yourself then. How old are you, 4?!?! As for signing up for, he signed up for it too when he created a child. You're not asking too much. At all. He fathered a child. That child is his legal responsibility now as well as his and if he didn't want to care for a child then he shouldn't have had one. I know it's hard and by the sounds of things he's got excuses pouring out of every orifice. You've said what you need to say by the sounds of it so I would literally do nothing except baby now since that's your job. Including housework, dinner, everything. Then when he comes home leaves baby next to him, and walk out the door. Tell him it's your lunch break now. It's not just your baby it's his too. It takes sperm to make a baby. Time to step up asshole.

I am in no way saying what your partner is doing is right but having been through the same your partner could be suffering with ppd. my partner really really struggled with the newborn stage and really up until she was about 7 months old. The crying really bothered him and he struggled to deal with it all. It was a really tough time and he would do it if I asked him but he wouldn’t do anything unless I asked. I also worried that he wouldn’t have a good relationship with her. He is now brilliant with her, loves playing with her and spending time with her and is a great dad. He works away in the week but does a lot at weekends. Like I said, I’m not condoning his behaviour or saying there’s a right and wrong, just trying to give another perspective. If it’s not working for you, talk to him.

@Antonia unfortunately i do not agree men cannot get ppd as they didn’t carry a child and do not deal with the physical and emotional changes after birth like a woman does. they don’t have the hormone surges like women. men can however get normal depression and anxiety or simply can’t cope with being a dad. again not in our case he already has 2 kids from a previous relationship. yeah he may struggle in the newborn stage but he could still be there for me instead sometimes he watches me struggle through while mindlessly scrolling on tiktok

@Rebecca yes i make his tea cos i do mine at the same time but he’s SO fussy and only eats select meals so sometimes i end up making 2 separate meals for us. my family are supportive yes

@Holly i’m on maternity allowance and that just about covers my car insurance and other bills so for food and living i do generally rely on him yes x

@Sophie my partner has been the same since day 1 😅 we’ve had conversations, rows, everything, I tried everything to try and get him to help me but I unfortunately just realised nothing was going to change.

@Sophie well I’d stop cooking for him if your job is to look after the baby that doesn’t include him. I’d also call his bluff and say you’re leaving if you have a supportive family. You need this nipped in the bud asap. I see so many women on here who end up having more children with men like this and they don’t change

The dreaded phone. The amount of times I’ve wanted to grab it out his hand and throw it out the window 😂😂😂😂

He actually said your job is the baby? he doesn’t help with something as basic as the dinner he is going to eat? Sorry but he sounds like a loser. Girl, please do not cook him dinner. If your responsibility is the baby and his is to work then stop taking care of him also. He’s a big boy and can take care of himself. Omg I just can’t with men. These guys need to step up!!

@Meghan i think it’s the men of this generation heard so many similar stories it’s so sad

@Sophie Oh I would stop making his tea and making two separate meals right now. If my partner doesn't want what I'm making he sorts himself out and that's without the baby. You're his partner not his mother, he's not a little boy anymore. It's up to you and your life but I would not put up with this shit from anyone.