How do you share Parental responsibilities with your partner

My partner is the same. We don’t live together as we both still live with parents. He’ll help but I have to ask every time. As u said there’s no initiative. Honestly I think it’s just a man thing. I feel like a single mum alot of the time especially as I don’t see him everyday. Pumping or formula will be a good idea. I’m trying to wean from ebf onto formula now. I also do all the meal prep. I get a break once every week or two where she’ll go to her dads which helps a lot. He’s better with her when I’m not there as well as i think he just relies on the fact I’ll do it if he’s at mine. Do you have any family or his family that can have her for a couple hours 1 day a week? It’s hard honestly and i feel for u 🫶🏼

My other half works from home which makes things easier as he sees more of our day to day, he’ll do nappies and give her a bath etc. but I’m EBF too so it’s mainly on me. It’s a delicate balance, you need to find your routine that you’re both happy with. For us he’s the default parent until 9am when he starts work. He gets her up gives breakfast (that I’ve prepped the night before) reads and plays with her and puts her down for her first nap. I’m there to feed when she’s ready, workout, shower or generally potter around. At 5pm if he hasn’t finished he’ll stop working and go back once she’s gone to bed. I’m in charge of food, do most of the tidying, cleaning and planning etc. but that’s fair enough as I’m on maternity after all. We each get a sleep in at the weekends. He goes out Friday night so I do Saturday morning. I get a sleep in Sunday until she’s ready to feed. I’ve started to go to a choir on a Tuesday 8-9pm which fits in perfectly with her 6-7pm bedtime.

I wouldn’t be feeding until after 3 hours anyway. That’s an important hour in my week to feel a sense of normality away from her. Honestly I wouldn’t be too hard on your partner with not taking initiative until being asked. He’s probably fearful of getting it wrong or getting in the way. Too many cooks and all that. Open communication is key and give each other plenty of slack. It’s really hard to find a balance when everyone is struggling to adapt. When you say your LO won’t settle if not on the boob, is this at night? I had this issue for 5 months. She woke on transfer and ended up back on the boob time and time again for hours and hours. I couldn’t go on and it was taking a toll on my mental health and our relationship. We sleep trained, not for everyone but something to consider if you want your sanity back. She puts herself to sleep and we get a full night of sleep 6-6 or 7-7 with only 1 or 2 wake ups for feeds

I really struggle when people say "it's just a man thing". It's not. I've had a baby at the same time as 2 of my best friends, and both their husbands plus mine do a lot. My husband managed to negotiate flexible working hours with his employer (which if you're full time PAYE most HR teams cannot deny without a proper reason). This was negotiated with an adjustment of start time so he could finish work sooner so it doesn't impact his pay, as work hours are the same. My husband therefore does all bathtimes as it's his bonding time. Every day at 5pm he takes her for a walk or out somewhere. Bedtime is at 7pm. Weekends he takes her swimming so I'm free to do things and generally takes the lead on nappies etc I pump milk to leave with him, and he's encouraged me to have nights off with friends. It's the same for my friends partners. I have two older brothers and they were also present fathers? Its 2025, not the 80s. If men want to genuinely make the effort, they can absolutely find a way.

I don’t think it’s a man thing. I think it’s if he wanted to he would. My partner works 5 days a week and still helps out so much with both our kids when he gets home to give me a break. If I cook, he cleans. We both take one kid each for bedtime and he does the last feed of the night at midnight and settles her back down. I would suggest talking to your partner ? Ask him if his scared of getting it wrong or anything like that xx

I would say we’re very equal. My husband acknowledges that looking after a baby is much harder than his professional job, so does what he can when he can. Every morning he will wash & sterilize bottles, unload the dishwasher and prep LO’s porridge for breakfast. In the evenings, I’ll cook and he cleans up. He works 2/5 days from home. So on days he works from home, he’ll cook dinner. We love doing bath time together!