Is it bad that I'm kind of happy my fiance failed?

So for context, I've been bed-sharing and mostly contact-napping since my daughter, now 3 months, was about 2 weeks old. My fiance has been against it since before our daughter was born, and until I started doing it out of necessity, I also swore to myself I would never bed-share because that's how I lost my brother. After many sleepless nights doing extensive research I realized I lost my brother because it wasn't SAFE cosleeping (it was a babysitter who fell asleep with him in an unsafe position, surrounded with blankets and pillows). My fiance is still heavily against cosleeping and has been trying to force me to put her in her crib at night. At this point, cosleeping is not only out of necessity, but still partly, but also because I love sleeping next to my daughter. Not only does she sleep better, but I am so much less anxious when she's right next to me at night. Last night I finally submit and told my fiance that if he wants her in her crib at night, he can be the one to put her there and deal with the crying, fussing, and sleep refusal. So when he got home from work we ate dinner and he tried putting the baby to bed in her crib. He walked around with her for 30 minutes until she was drowsy and tried putting her in her crib. She immediately woke up and started crying. He then had me hold her until she was mostly asleep and he tried transferring her to the crib. Again, woke up and cried. This time he left her in the crib and spent half an hour trying to soothe her and get her to sleep before giving up and letting me continue cosleeping. He still wants me putting her in the crib for naps but because he wants to be able to sleep, he's "allowing" us to cosleep at night. All that being said, I'm honestly sort of happy I guess that he failed and was forced to realize what I was going through to some extent before resorting to bed-sharing. I feel like maybe I shouldn't be happy for his failure but I can't help it. Does that make me a bad person?

Show your support

Nah, it doesn't make you a bad person since you let him see for himself and realise that it's better to get some sleep than not. My youngest is 3 now still in our room with her bed next to ours. She's been in our bed since newborn as I was also breastfeeding. Occasionally still lays down next to me in our bed

@gabi I would love to still have my daughter in our room when she's 3 but our room doesn't have the space lol. That said, I will definitely be letting her crawl into bed with me whenever she wants, and at that point if my fiance has a problem with it I'm getting a bed for her room that I can also fit on (we currently have a toddler bed in the garage for when she's older). My fiance thinks letting her sleep with me whenever she wants will have her sleeping in our bed til she's 12 which I honestly find to be ridiculous and dramatic. I know she won't always be my baby and she won't always want to cuddle up next to me so I want to savor it as long as possible

Ah yes the typical "will still sleep in your bed when 12" 😒 I would just turn around and say "well you are - yrs old and sleep next to me so why can't a baby that actually needs me" 🤣 that honestly annoys me so much when grown adults try to make babies sleep alone but they sleep next to their partners 😅 so don't worry, she won't be stuck in your bed forever and yea you can always just get a floor bed and if he complains just go snuggle up next to your baby. With my eldest we tried moving her into her own room at 6 months but she wasn't having it so she stayed in ours until she was 11 months old and even then there was nights where I was just too tired that instead of transferring her into her cot we just all slept in bed together.

I find this so satisfying and so should you lol, if men want to be pigheaded like they know better with 0 experience let them find out for themselves. He isn't "allowing" you to do jack shit, he tried to talk the talk but couldn't walk the walk, now he's retreating with his tail between his legs. Also, the 'until she's 12 years old' comment demonstrates such an intense degree of stupidity it's hilarious. I invite everyone who has ever uttered that or similar to find one person that shared a bed with their mum until going into their teens... most 12 year olds don't even want to sit on the sofa and watch a movie with their parents nevermind share a bed 😂

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌