Rant

I'm in a similar situation. 2 boys 1 almost 4 other 6mths. Older is very jealous n hit and bit. I try to keep them apart. Once older 1 misbehaving I seat him out for bad behaviour not always work with kicking n screaming n melt down all day n days. Try to nap when they are napping. Rest of it ,do not stress u will come to term, u not bothered ,if they are fed ,washed n healthy that all matters. Rest of do its in a small dosage. Like washing dishes once its been used. Dont Leave it in the sink, free the sink mostly . If kitchen clean rest easy to maintain. Is impossible to do all housework n kids, be kind to yourself.

You can download care.com the app. There are usually people looking to help out in your area. Yes it cost money but they could come over even while you sleep and help out with the baby and chores!

If you pay for everything and do everything, what is he adding to your life but more stress? Leave him and he’ll have to take your children at least some of the time if he wants shared custody. He’ll have to do something then. Or you’ll have full custody, financial help from him and less stress as he won’t be there x

I was in a similar position for a long time. My husband worked out of town so he wasn’t able to help. He was home 2 days and helped then but i was in your position with the sibling hitting and me screaming and nooo patience. Honestly you have to find a plan for getting out of this arrangement. Go back to work or get some help? But in the immediate, i spent every waking moment outside. I was exhausted but less stressed. In the morning I would give them breakfast in the double stroller and walk. Then we would get ready and go to the park. My older child wouldn’t be as aggressive towards the baby when we were outside or around others. We took picnics everywhere and went outside in ALL weather. I had a bag i packed with bubbles, sidewalk chalk, puzzles, kick ball, trucks, shovels, sand pails etc.. it helped me meet other moms too. Library story hour got worked into our routine as well as children’s museum. (We got an annual pass so we went 1-2x/week).

I also hired a young girl in our neighborhood who would come over to play with them so I could get chores done. They call this a “mother’s helper” someone too young to leave your children with but still having an extra set of hands was a huge help! I couldn’t afford a sitter but if you can get one! My heart goes out to you. I know this low, sad, lost feeling and I am so sorry. Try to fit 5 minutes to just meditate or paint your toe nails. It actually does wonders for your patience with them. And let the chores go if needed. You can have a messy house for this chapter of life. She WILL grow out of the hitting and meanness. My boys are best friends now. ❤️

@Rose it's hard right?! Yeah my 3 year old doesn't nap and my youngest doesn't really nap either, only if we are at home and I put her in bed for an hour sometimes she will! I always wash my dishes once used, etc. I have no trouble with doing housework as I do it as the mess is made lol! I think clean house clean mind😂 I'm just overstimulated and need a goodnight sleep, I guess...

@Jamie sorry I don't really have any money, I struggle a lot with money as I'm on benefits and by time I've paid bills and rent I'm left with very little amount to do food shopping, gas, electric, stuff the kids need etc

@Emma we have been on and off for a year, we split for 4 months after I had my youngest but he just never got the hint and never left me alone and would always find ways to contact me and always used the kids and excuse to talk to me... I feel so much better when his not around and my mood switches as soon as his on the scene. I know it's him, I just need to try find a way to get him to leave me alone.

@nicole id love to go to work but again the problem I have is childcare, I've been hunting for wfh jobs for a while now. My mental health isn't the best and I do find that the days I spend outside I am much happier but it's just that initial push to get me out. Also my youngest doesn't walk yet and she hates the buggy and she will just scream and scream if in there for too long but she puts anything and everything in her mouth so it's a nightmare to put her anyway. Plus the weather hasn't been great and the kids have got cough and colds as it is😫 I'm glad you found a way of coping with it! I need to start getting out more for the sake of my mental health. I cannot wait for 7pm everyday so the kids go to bed and I can go in the bath and have some time to myself but every night I spend over an hour getting youngest to sleep and then cleaning up and then bath and by that time it's around 10pm so it's bedtime😢

I hear ya with the stroller!!! Mine hated it too for the longest time too! I wore him in the carrier and pushed the older boy and eventually the little guy wanted to sit by brother but it was at least a year and a half wearing him🤦‍♀️ and he was a fatty😂 i literally took them out in their pjs to get myself going in the morning it had to be easy. I mix plain yogurt with protein powder and put them in reusable pouches the day before so i grabbed them for the boys and took off with my coffee. We just went down the street and back maybe 30 minutes but it helped me get motivated to get the day going without the fighting and whining. And childcare i struggled too. I figured out one day with a nanny and one day with my husband might work. Much more with the nanny and i won’t bring anything home. It tooks MONTHS to find a nanny. I start this Monday so fingers crossed the nanny works out!