Need to vent. Will accept feedback
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First of all. I’m sorry you are going through all of that but you are not complaining. It’s okay to be prepared for what’s to come or what might come with having a little one. You are not wrong at all. Men don’t understand what us as women go through and on top of that being a mother. Please don’t feel like you are crazy because you are not. A little one is growing in your tummy and you have the right to feel tired. He should be taking care of you so you don’t over exert yourself. If you need to vent. I’m always open to talk.
I’m weird like your BF - I hate extra stuff around the house. 25 pieces of clothing sounds like a lot for a newborn but I’m sure they are various sizes. 12 bottles also sounds like a lot. I don’t know what his reasons are but I’m also a minimalist. I only bought 3 bottles but we also breastfed mostly.
He could possibly be avoiding the baby stuff and the needs for the baby because he hasn’t processed the pregnancy yet. He might be freaking out and avoiding the preparations. I would just do your own thing and get ready for the baby how you want to and hopefully he comes around and is more supportive in the later stages of the pregnancy because you will need help with housework and appointments, shopping ect all your concerns are completely valid tho and he should be supporting you emotionally and financially with baby stuff. Give it time and try to enjoy your pregnancy and buying stuff because it is exciting to welcome a new baby and buying all the baby stuff and getting ready is a big part of it all.
Has he always been kind of a downer like you mentioned? Or is it a newly acquired trait? If it’s new, do you think he might be having feelings about the baby coming? Also regarding you doing the majority of house chores , I just want to say I don’t think all that should only be your job. Hes going to expect it when baby comes. And you’re dealing with building a whole human inside of you! Including side effects 😅I hope he helps you on your down days. Anyway, no I don’t think you’re crazy. Your expectations aren’t unreasonable . And like you said, you are educated of what new babies need. You’re a great resource in that knowledge, he should be so grateful for that! Is he a cheap man? Like maybe he doesn’t want to buy all the baby stuff? Maybe he’s worried about money?
@Jen it’s definitely a new trait. He’s always been such an amazing and supportive partner, we moved hours away from our families to start new careers and a life together, neither of us would’ve taken that risk had we not felt supported by each other. I also wouldn’t have gotten off birth control if I didn’t feel that he’d be a supportive and amazing partner/ father. I know he’s anxious and a little scared to be a father, especially to a daughter, I dealt with a lot of sexual assault growing up and I think he is so terrified that he won’t be able to protect her from everything the way he feels he needs to. I just don’t know how to communicate with him about this because neither of us have ever been parents before.
@Gabriella I’m glad to hear he’s an amazing partner to you 💕 maybe hes still processing everything still? Hopefully he comes around soon
He’s not right. And you know these things bc u know these things, you were a nanny ! Which is incredible. You’ve set yourself up to be a super mom! Ugh he reminds me of my soon to be ex husband. He’s being selfish and simply not caring. I think you should do you, and you know what you will need for baby. Do that without him or his input pretty much. My ex was awful it was all supposed to be a bonding experience. He didn’t make time for any of it had no interest. When I finally finished and worked so hard on my registry that’s when he said he wanted to take a look at it before I sent to everyone…… he dabbled with the entire thing. Destroyed it pretty much. Finish your registry and send it. When you’re done say I’m sending it today or I’ve sent it. Period. That is your registry. Your baby your moment. My husband took all my special moments away so be strong and listen to yourself your gut is right and you know what you’re talking about. :)
In my opinion you’re not being dramatic at all! Personally all the things you listed are all things I use for my baby, I use a sterilizer and my baby doesn’t have a potential immune disorder I just like to be cautious in everything which is never wrong with a newborn or any aged child. My baby also has way more than 12 bottles because washing them all multiple times a day can be so hard sometimes. I also think you should be careful if he’s not doing anything now cooking and cleaning by yourself may be a challenge when you’re also taking care of a baby especially a newborn and freshly postpartum . I truly hope for your and your babies sake he starts to do more to help you. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.