How would u feel if ur husband told u his mom n his family will be the one making medical decisions if he ever ends up in ICU etc. they dont have medical expertise nor do I?

I would be upset, only because marriage is a legal thing & one of the things it allows you is to be the medical proxy by default. He would have to go out of his way to remove you.

This would be rather odd to me. Marrying my husband, I understood everything I was agreeing to and trust my husband implicitly. He would do what is best for me and I him. What would be his reasoning to want his family to make these kind of decisions and not you?

Shitty. Not married but some men have a hard time letting go of their moms.

I would kind of hope that my husband would want me and his family to make the decisions together. However, I would lean on his mom for a lot of the medical decisions anyway because she is a nurse and has worked in the hospital.

I agree with @Paige I would be very offended if my husband went out of his way to take legal matters to knock me off. Like it’s a lot of work to do 😂 What’s he so afraid of

I wouldn’t be offended. I told him if something were to happen to me when I had surgery I wanted his mom to make the medical decisions 🤷🏼‍♀️. He’s to biased.

I'd understand to a degree, but also I'd tell him good luck when she's gone. Odds are something will happen down the road when she's gone, not while she's still around. And to not trust me enough to make it a discussion at least and ask me to let his mom be part of the decision making process....we'll maybe I'll just let it be up to the doctors when I'm all he has. (Of course I'd do right by him, but I'd be reminding him he chose me so id hope he trusts me, and he could have handled the situation differently.)

I wouldn't be surprised and I would get it and obviously they would want thr best for him. But its a bit insulting isn't it because obviously I would want the best for him too. I wouldn't be switching the lights off on him, ever. and it feels like a lack of trust because, especially of you're married, it's normally the spouse given that role. You live your life together, so more likely to know what he would want as he can update you easily if he changes his mind about anything

I would say it depends on the kind of relationship you have. My husband and I have talked about those kinds of scenarios and have told each other what we would want to happen in certain events. He will be my proxy and I will be his. We know each other way better than either of our family does. Now having said that, if he told me after those conversations that he wanted his family to be his proxy then I would be pretty upset. Just depends on your relationship 🤷🏼‍♀️

my mum is a nurse and the only person i trust with my life, in such a situation, so i know that she would do what she believes is best in her professional opinion so, and i trust her to put her bias towards me aside when i know my partner would not be able to my mum will be able to overrule his decisions should it come to it

I think it would depend on the mom to be honest. Almost all of my exes mom were pos so if they would choose her of me I'd be mad. But if he wants her to be in charge of his medical decisions he has to get that in writing

I understand choosing your mum, unless otherwise, most of us default trust our mothers the most with our saftey. However, especially if you have children, it’s improtant you have a say because as much as the mum may say she would consider your family, the likelihood is she’ll always make decisions based on “but that’s my baby boy” If u get me?

I would honestly be upset, marriage in my opinion means that you are supposed to trust your husband/wife more than anyone else and allow them to take these kind of decisions above your parents and siblings

It sounds like he's asian 🤣

If you bent down on one knee and chose me to be the wife there will be multiple conversations about extraordinary measures what your death wishes are how you would like to be when you die. If you were to tell me I have no say over your health if you were on machines and what not or maybe you needed emergency surgery and you were unconscious that would be very foolish to do because you entrusted me with everything including yourself so yeah I’d be very upset

I'm my spouse's next of kin and I would honestly do whatever it takes just to keep him alive. Even if he's in vegetation state, I'd still choose that because at least I'd get to hug him and have some hope he'd come back. But I've also had a moment of dang this is kind of 😶‍🌫️ when we were setting up our life insurances, and that was after I watched a documentary about a guy who was just marrying women to kill them and collect on multiple life insurances 😵‍💫😵‍💫 The number one suspect is always your spouse, so it kind of makes sense to try and separate those out. Everyone should get to choose who they trust the most with their life and we should all respect it. Your life is the most precious and most vulnerable thing we'll ever own and if for a happy relationship where he has you as a beneficiary that profits off of his death, I get why he'd put the matters of his life to someone who is only emotionally invested...

I'd find it very odd, I think my MIL and my parents should discuss things with my husband if I was not able to at all. At the end of the day my husbands my next or kin so it's his call, but he knows my possition on various stuff. My mum used to be a nurse and my husbands a nurse so they're both very level headed on medical stuff where as my MIL is more emotional and normally tells my husband off for being very blunt about anything medical

It’s hard bc I would always for the rest of her life want my mama to make medical decisions for me. Even married. Sorry. So I would be upset but I can’t because I’d do the same .. also I wouldn’t mind if my son wanted me to make decisions for him for the rest of my life even if he was married. I brought him into this world. So I’m really thinking from EVERY perspective and angle. I totally understand where everyone in the comments is coming from tho.

I don’t care cause legally they can’t lmao

The question is why they feel you wouldn’t make the right decision… seems to me they think you wouldn’t do the right thing to say that considering that goes to the spouse once you are married…… you could honestly still fight it if that ever happened…