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Honestly it shouldn't matter if they want to be called the same thing, my mum and partners mum are both known as nanna. I think she needs to get over it personally...pretty childish to say she wanted to be called that and said it first.
@Samantha that's what I was thinking. She apparently refuses to be called Grammy M cause it's not the same and is now demanding my bfs mom change her name. It's very frustrating cause it feels like I have to be in the middle of unnecessary drama.
@Lauren That's exactly how I felt! It seemed very childish to say she chose first so she gets dibs over the name
Not gonna lie, I hear these stories and I laugh because in Italian we don't have variations, it's nonno/nonna for all of them and it's not even considered an issue 😅 I think the idea of using initials is good, they each have every right to decide how to be called. And for your mum wanting to be the first etc, well my MIL lives 10 minutes down the road and my mum in another country, so she won't see the baby until a couple of weeks after it's born (and just for a few days). My MIL is still a bit offended that we asked her to wait a couple of days to show up at our house, so there's no winning there.
@Giorgia its so frustrating cause I didn't even tell her she couldn't be called Grammy anymore. She also tried to lay claim that she is gonna be here for a week to help with the baby when it's born and she was like well his mom better not be there cause I'm doing it. And she just keeps doing stuff like that like his mom isn't also our babies grandma too.
I’m sorry but that’s ridiculous, I wouldn’t be telling your bfs Mum she can’t be called Grammy. I used to call both of mine Nanna and it was fine, if there was ever any confusion I would clarify which nanna I meant. If I was you I would hold firm because if you appease her I’m sure there will be many more things she will make a scene about x
@Lara 🙌🏻 I'm sorry is this meant for my post? I wasn't talking about a guy or taking a guy back? I'm so confused. Post is about my mom
Aww, bless you. Sounds like mom's being a bit of a child and expecting everyone else to manage her weird jealous feelings by controlling their behaviors. Can you find a way to let her be a child but without taking action/getting pulled in? Maybe saying something like 'I understand you're upset and that's ok. At the same time, I really don't need to be dealing with this right now so you need to find a way to deal with your feelings'. It's hard but sounds like you're gonna need to go on a journey with setting boundaries with her for your own sanity x
just call your mom Grammy and your BF’s mom Grammy whatever initial it was both still grammy and hopefully your BF’s mom won’t moan i don’t get it though both of sets of Grandparents in our family are nanny and it’s never been an issue xx
@Jess That's really good advice thank you! In the past I've had a difficult time with setting boundaries with her but as an adult have been working on it. I really want to talk to her because she has already tried overstepping prior telling me that saying people can't kiss the baby is ridiculous. I love my mom but I think she forgets this is my baby not hers
I really don’t understand why people so get offended by this… the baby will probably have their own version anyway. My mom is grandma and my son calls her GiGi because he can’t say grandma yet and now that has stuck.
@Lyrica weird. Don’t know why it posted on your post. Sorry about that
A struggle I could I only wish for 🥹 on a serious note though, what’s the big deal of them both being called that? If she called them grandma it would be the same thing. Just a jealousy thing?
My step mom and MIL both want to be Nonna. I’m not even telling the other one that they both want the same name. lol they’ll figure it out somehow and it won’t be on me.
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@Lara 🙌🏻 no worries! Was just confused!
It’s really not that big of a deal.. smh 🤦🏻♀️ I’m Asian (Cambodian) and my husband is Hispanic/white. My mother in law is white. She goes by grandma . My grandma (his great grandmother) and my mom (his grandma) goes by Yey or Yey Yey meaning grandma in my language (Khmer). With my side of the family, since I’m the 4th child, my older 3 siblings are considered “ohm” (another version of aunt/uncle for someone who is older than you). So my son would call my older sisters and brother “Ohm + their name”. It used to be just “Ohm” but I wanted him to learn their names beside just calling everyone “Ohm” as they all be answering and he may not be talking to them 😅 My son actually nicknamed my second oldest sister wife, “small ohm” meaning “small aunt(y)” as she is small and little 🤣 I also call my mother in law, “mom” if my husband and I are talking about his mom. If we’re talking about my mom, it’s “Ma” (meaning mom in Khmer).
My mum and my MIL are both called Nanny 🤷🏻♀️ When they’re around, my little girl calls them Nanny. When they’re not here and we’re talking about one or the other then it’s Nanny Rai or Nanny Mac and she knows who we’re talking about.
Just tell them this is stressing you out and to work it out amongst themselves.
I don't get why she's making it into an issue. All of my grandparents were just Grandma and Grandpa growing up. We never got confused. Usually only one was there at a time, but if there were more than one present we just said Grandma First Name. It doesn't have to be a whole thing...my nephew even called my dad Crappaw for the first few years because he couldn't say grandpa right. We all just thought it was silly.
Oh for heavens sake, how ridiculous! We’ve got 3 grandmas and there’s no confusion 🙄 I’d just tell her she can be called Grammy and the other one will be Grammy M or whatever to keep the peace (tbh I’d actually tell her I don’t care what either of them are called, baby will likely make their own name for them which whatever sounds they can make!)
This seems like she's got a bit of an over reaction I won't lie. My grandparents are Nanny. They've both been Nanny, all my life. I'm 35 now. Grandfather the same. Grampa. My step son now has his Nanny and my mum who is his step grandmother really is Nanny too, we just add her name. My mum and step mum are going to both be Nanny to this baby. Never really occurred to me that they'd be different? I imagine my partner's mum will still be Nanny too. Bit of needless jealousy really. My mum hasn't met my partners family yet and all they keep talking about is meeting each other when the baby is born!
Sheeesh how old are your parents and his….Sounds immature and petty. Just tell them whatever the kids calls them that’s that…. lol 😆 both can be Grammy grams mema mimi Tata or anything. It’s not something to stress about or get upset over.
We didn’t really let my parents and in laws choose🤷🏼♀️ we picked out names for my parents and his and when his mom wanted to switch it was fine because my mom was okay with the name we gave her (thankfully) lmao. I don’t think she should be taking it that far but I mean if she’s going to be like that is it worth asking your partners mom to switch? I think it could get confusing for a baby/young toddler for names so similar but that’s just my opinion
They are gonna pick the name they want on their own. My mom tried to get my son to say grandma he just says nana so it isn’t up to either of them or you . Kid is gonna call them whatever they want to tbh
Kids will call them what they want to 😂😂 I asked my mum and dad first then told my in-laws they had already been taken
My mom (Hispanic) wanted to be grandma instead of nana because she said it’ll make her feel old , that nana is for her mom my grandmother. My son ended up calling her and still calls her remy (my nieces nickname) we told him to call her grandma and nope still remy lol
Your mum is being childish and pathetic! It certainly sounds like a pissing contest in her eyes. No kissing of baby is YOUR decision as parents that she needs to respect. And I would say sure you can be Grammy, but if that’s what the other grandmother wants to be,she can be that too. It’s not a race to see who grabs the name first! If you don’t want her there for a week either,I’d put your foot down now!!
Does it really matter if she still gets name just called Grammy n or m so not confusing. Your little one may decide later on to call her something else.