Frustrated
I’m so frustrated and don’t know if I have a right to be. I have two herniated disks in my back. I’ve had excruciating sciatica from it. On Tuesday I had a spinal epidural injection with no relief as of yet. My fiance whom doesn’t live with me yet took me for the procedure. He was amazing that day. And that’s about it. I’ve been crying in pain. He had a talk with my two teen kids saying he doesn’t even want me lifting a laundry basket and I need to heal. I can’t even bend to shave my legs. He told me he would be over last night to help me shower. He didn’t show. He fell asleep. Fine. He’s been working a lot and he’s exhausted I get it. The show must go on. I had to go to the store today to get dinner stuff and lunches etc. he said for me to wait for my kids. Mind you he isn’t working today he’s playing around his house doing odds and ends. I have no one to rely on. No one to help me with anything. It really sucks. Everyone relies on me for everything and I have no one to turn to. I’m not going to wait all day for my kids to get home from school and practice just to add more on to them. He tells me I’m the most stubborn person he’s ever met in his life and I don’t listen. Yet he proved last night that I can’t rely on him. He gets a cold and he’s out of commission for three days “dying.” Every step I take I feel like my leg is being ripped off. I told him I need a new mattress. He gave me a mattress months ago he had laying in his basement and the whole one side is caved in. I said I need a new fucking mattress. I said can we go this evening and pick one out. I can not tolerate this pain anymore. He said I won’t be around. He’s going up to his buddies house 2 hours away to do work for him on it. That means he won’t be around tonight, tomorrow, and probably all weekend. My kids are at their dad’s this weekend. I’m just so fed up. Why do I do everything for everyone and I can’t get any help. If this injection doesn’t work it’s either pain pills (which I refuse) or surgery which I clearly can’t get because I have zero help and I also take care of my mother with dementia. I guess I’m just going to tolerate being in pain for the rest of my god damn life. I apologize for the language and pissy attitude I’m just in so much pain.
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@Bonny I truly feel like part of it is my fault. No matter what I keep going because I never have a choice. I kind of got into with him on the phone because I told him I needed his help last night and he said, “you told me you didn’t want me to help you shower and that it made you uncomfortable and it’s not right.” And he’s right. I did say that to him. I guess part of me wishes he would have just shown up and did it anyway. He said he will be here today to help me with whatever I need. I guess I’m just venting. I always have to keep going because if I don’t things just go downhill.
Yea he should be demoted from fiancé to ex. Be thankful your not living together. Easier break.
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I don't think this is a relationship that's headed toward marriage. You want and need someone who is going to be there for you in the worst of times, and he is not it. I'm sorry you are in so much pain with so little help. 💔 Your kids and your mom will not always require this much care, so it won't be quite this way forever. I hope you are able to get some relief from your condition and find someone who is more able to prioritize your well-being. In the meantime, do you have a cousin, a co-worker, or friend from church that you could get some one-time help from for things like getting a mattress? Could you order one online or by phone? Can you have your groceries delivered occasionally, if you are alone? Could you get someone from care.com for an hour or two of assistance when you need another adult to help? Do you need new doctors to look at a new course of treatment? I'm so sorry. Your pain is real and it 100% makes sense to be upset that others can't or won't help you in your time of need.