FIL rant

So I found out I was pregnant in the march and me and my partner agreed we wasn’t announcing it till the 12 week mark. We told his parents and then I told mine but no friends or extended family, his mum & dad then told some people before we was ready which really pissed me of I said to them imagine I haven’t told my parents. His dad just keeps talking about my weight like “how much do u weigh now” “how my mil was never as big as i was when pregnant” he then said last night “I wonder who’s fatter out or me and my partner” he called me “fattie” for like at least 3 weeks, stuff like this annoys me. He is randomly asking how much I’ll get for my maternity pay from the government. He then said “oh I feel like me and my partner are going to struggle on my mat pay” even tho my partner will still be working . I just feel it’s not his place to be asking how much I’ll be getting from the government for my mat pay. His dad has tried to search up how much I’ll be getting and how long I’ll be off for. My partner has never asked me how much I’ll be getting for my mat pay. His dad doesn’t have much conversation to say to me tbh he just repeats himself all the time which is boring Anyone had to deal with anything like this?

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I haven’t dealt with that but I think it sounds like it’s time for boundaries, you and your partner be a united front and tell him those comments are not welcome. Then remove yourself from him if he doesn’t listen until he gets the picture. Good luck to you … I can’t imagine ever calling a pregnant woman a fattie 😠

What does your husband say? I wouldn't let anyone talk to me like that. I would just leave the place or ask him to leave if he can't respect you. That's way out of line. I'm very sorry

Since my baby is born, my FIL took pictures of us as a family which is cute. But lately he said several times how tired we look. My partner told him that if he keep commenting he won't be allowed to take any pictures of us. He just stop doing it. If you don't sent boundaries, people will always trash you.

@Aurélie he gets just as annoyed with it as me, my partner will apologise for his dads doings and doesn’t agree with it as his dad is being rude but this always happens when his dad has a drink he just repeats him self and I’ve spoken to my partner how I feel about his dad commenting on my weight every time I go over to my partners (as we don’t live together yet) and he said he will have a word with him. Next time it happens I’m gonna say I feel really uncomfortable and it makes me not want to go round and visit my partner

He has to strand up for you. That's not ok. It makes it difficult because looks like he is still dependant on him (still living there...) If he starts being mean due to drinking, he should just stop drinking. If you are not comfortable around him, I would trust my gut and stop going. Your bf can still come to you.

I’d respond stare at him with no response followed with a “so rude” so he gets the point. And as far as the fat comments I maybe a “that makes two of us” Sometimes people need a dose of what they’re giving to get a clue.

Does your partner have a good income? I'm confused . Why hasn't he asked? It's important information. Your FIL needs to back off, but it's normal to ask about Mat Leave, so I wouldn't be to put off by that. I also wouldn't feel I need to keep it a secret. Set very firm boundaries because if you don't, this will continue. Sorry you are dealing with this OP.

@Hannah he does have a good wage and my partner knows how much I’ll be getting for mat pay like we’ve discussed it before but he doesn’t constantly ask about like his father. I just find it awkward his dad keeps asking about my how much I’ll be getting, trying to search up how much I’ll make. Like his dad knows how much I’m on per hour and I’ve told his dad that I wasn’t getting maternity pay from my company as I wasn’t there long enough so will be getting it from the gov but I just find it invasive. Like I do not ask his dad how much he is in debt as I feel that’s none of my business. When his dad mentions that I’m fat or about my weight to be honest I get up and leave the room as when he says this he is drunk so he will repeat him self numerous times

My MIL was similar and constantly made comments about how much sugar I was consuming, how much weight I gained and diabetes comments under her breath just coz I was having some vimto cordial!! I put her straight coz I hated being around her. Dad needs to shut up and learn to respect his grandchild’s mum if nothing else

As I said, OP set very firm boundaries and stick to them. You do not want this behaviour continuing when your little one is here.

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