Not enjoying being a mum

Hello 🤍 I just wanted to say this must be really hard for you to admit but well done because it must feel like a massive weight off your shoulders. I think you are right, and you do need to speak to someone, whether it be someone close to you or a professional but speaking to someone might help you find some solutions. Whether it be you work something out with family for you to have some time to yourself, or whether a professional could help give you some tools to feel like you can manage when times feel really stressful. I breastfeed and I know how demanding that is and honestly, hand on heart, exclusively pumping must be on a different level of demanding as you should be so proud of yourself for doing that 🤍 Having a baby is a huge change to our lives and it definitely takes time to adjust but you’re so right, it’s important to have you time. I’m sorry I can’t offer you any solutions but maybe think about who you could talk to to help you get a bit of a plan in place?

I don’t know what you’ve tried already, but maybe going somewhere on an evening for an hour (a wander round the supermarket or shopping centre), or finding something for you to do for a couple of hours one night a week etc? X

This is so so normal! Not everyone will feel it or go though it, but just know you are not alone and it’s such a common normal thing! Your hormones are still going crazy and being a mum is HARD, and yes it’s so normal to miss your old life before becoming a mum, I still do sometimes and even tho I feel so so guilty for feeling it it’s normal, you build a whole new life, but let me tell you as hard as it is now, as baby gets bigger and learns new things, you will absolutely love it, the feelings you will feel, and don’t get me wrong youll still have your down days! But that’s a part of being a mum! It’s tough, you have to push through and you will see light at the other end!

You may be suffering with ppd, I do think you should get some professional help, but I get it! When my baby was newborn I couldn’t do ANYTHING, every wake window he would be screaming, and he’d only sleep like 10 mins at a time, then I figured there was something wrong, he had reflux, and he gave every symptom of cmpa, once we got that sorted we had a completely different baby! We finally got smiles, and then later down the road we got giggles, and even tho those times were the hardest in my whole life all the good completely overpowers and makes up for those hard times x

Personally it frustrates me when people throw around ppd. It’s hard being a mum and how you are feeling is completely normal. It’s a huge adjustment to your life and all of a sudden the ‘you’ that you once knew is gone. I went and had a manicure and pedicure (I took baby with me to a home salon). It made me feel so much better. I don’t know your situation but could you return to work sooner? Could your partner take some time off as shared parental leave? Trying to regain some normality might help.

Thanks all, I just feel like I miss my old life so much. I miss being able to just go out in the car late at night for a spin or doing things whenever I wanted. When we have easy days, it’s fine but days where she’s just non stop fussy I can’t cope. I’m not going back to work as my partner doesn’t want her going to nursery or anyone else. We also agreed I’d be staying off till she goes back to school, I think going back to work would make me feel even worse as I hated my job xx

i breastfeed and pump when my little ones at his dads for the next time he’s there and i would say pumping is 100 times more mentally and physically exhausting than feeding from the breast. i don’t even pump enough for the whole time my babies at his dads he tops up with formula so please be kind to yourself because you’re doing the most💙 a friend of mine also exclusively pumped and she used to sound just like you. have you thought about giving any formula at all? i agree than breast is best but a fed baby is what is best above all? you cannot pour from an empty cup so you need to take some time for you to feel like a human being without being attached to a baby or a pump for a while

L@Lauren pumping is very hard. She was on formula as she wouldn’t latch but at 4w pp I decided to get my supply back as she had a cmpa and nothing was agreeing with her, since being on my milk she’s thriving and I couldn’t put her back on formula again, it would make me even more down tbh. I just wish I had more support at the time for her to latch to me as it would make things much easier xx

It so hard to keep them entertained sometimes! I use the floor mat with him on his back a lot and toys hanging above him. Also do put some sensory things on YouTube for babies to keep him.distracted when i need half hour to do nothing! It's such a big change and breastfeeding / pumping is soooo exhausting! If you don't want to leave her overnight is there anyone that can do a few hours? Hopefully she can get used to other people x

Really brave to admit this 💕 I am also exclusively pumping and realise how difficult and draining it can be especially to maintain supply. Feel free to message me if you want a fellow pumper to talk to! Xx

that makes complete sense! have you tried latching again since? do you have a latch on group you could go to for assistance? my little boy didn’t have the greatest latch at the start but as he’s got older it got better so might be better now?

Hey girl this is totally normal I heard a quote the other day I think will resinate with you “when you get pregnant you mourn the person you used to because no matter how much you want to be a mum you will never not be one again” hope you okay messages always open x