Do you still prioritize your spouse after having a baby or does the baby become your only priority?

Tbh it’s hard to prioritize my partner . My partner can take care of himself My child can’t . I always put my kids first . Always . And my partner knows it. Regardless of how he feels about it.

Ugh. Relationships become so much harder after you have a baby. You have to make a huge effort to get quality time as a couple. Especially if you’re like me and you have no village. It’s almost impossible

if you don’t prioritize each other your relationship will struggle. something i did not expect after having a baby is how much effort you need to put into your partner. it’s hard, but it’s possible to find a balance

I’m two months PP too, and honestly up until this last week really, my partner and I haven’t been as close as we were pre-baby.. it took some communication and quality time to reconnect.. We’re still working on it, but the little things matter when you’re going through such a life-changing experience!! You also have to keep your partners changes in mind too! It’s a big adjustment for everyone!! Just keep trying and it’ll work out🫶🏻 Communicate your needs and wants and allow him to do the same, rooting for you girl 💕

Prioritizing is different for them. Our kids are our main priority because they rely on us but we also make sure to prioritize ourselves/relationship to remain a strong team. He's my other half and I want him to know I've got his back so I put the work into showing it

My baby comes first but I navigate to keep giving attention to my partner. He understands it's not as easy but he can also see the effort and it helps

Our marriage comes first. Always.

Oh yeah. I’m of the belief that before there was 3, there was 2. You and your partner. Your love made that baby. You loved each other first. Baby is just a bonus, or rather, a product of that love. We do prioritise each other, in between those moments that baby needs us. If baby is playing on the floor happily w his toys and Hubby is on the couch watching tv I’ll snuggle up w him and watch tv and the baby simultaneously until the baby needs me then I’ll attend to the baby etc. or if baby has a nap we’ll go for a quickie. We have monthly date nights. We still flirt, kiss, hug, date. We didn’t have a relationship fallout after every baby because I DO prioritise him in between moments the baby needs me. He priorities me by making sure I don’t need any help and I have everything I need. At 2m if you have someone to look after baby for a couple hrs then go for a date night that’s when we had our first date night PP.

My marriage comes first. I prioritize my spouse and he does the same.

In the beginning most tend to put their relationship in the back burner. For example, I’m almost 4 months pp and we also have a toddler and no village nearby. Our lives revolve around them at the moment. The last thing on my mind is sex. I just wanna sleep and we’re both just surviving lol. But we are aware this is temporary and not sustainable. As long as you get back to each other and don’t lose each other in the process, I think it’s normal. Kinda hard to prioritize each other right now .

I focused on baby, and my marriage suffered. There's not much I would change though because I think focusing on baby is the right thing.. like another said, the baby can't fend for themselves like your husband can. Also, SLEEP. You're still so in the thick of it. And it's hard for us to operate the same with so much less sleep. I'd keep letting your husband know how much you care for him and value time with him.

I feel like it’s definitely a balance but it’s about making time for both. The minute baby girl is in bed, it is us time. Thankfully we also have a support system who watches her so we can have date night

Prioritize baby because my spouse doesn’t prioritize me

Is he the sole provider? If so he probably is truly concerned about taking care of yall and being an active father ... give him some grace.

@Kat I work from home but he does make a lot more than I do. Plus we have no family to help take care of the baby while I work so it's difficult for me to put in hours unless he is asleep which makes me get basically zero sleep since I stay up at night with him and then work while he naps instead of catching sleep. I definitely give my husband the grace he deserves. I just miss us.

Right now I honestly have been prioritizing baby. But I'm almost 4 weeks postpartum and exclusively breastfeeding so I'm around the clock with baby. My husband understands though and he's also working & not on leave. I prioritize baby and he makes sure I'm ok with having food to eat etc. since he can't do much with baby right now. We also don't live on our own & are between two homes currently so its a lot of different things going on within our family dynamic 🥴🙃 lol

Aw, I understand. Did you tell him how you feel?

@Kat I have and he understands how I feel. He just tells me that it wont be like this forever and he tries to give me attention but honestly he just doesn't do the best job at it. Lmao! I know he's trying but I'm just ready for things to get normal. I am great at prioritizing everything but he's very one track. Work and baby is all his mind can handle I guess. This weekend will be our first weekend alone together with Baby since he was born because of having step kids every other weekend and Family from out of town visiting to meet the baby randomly on the opposite weekends so i'm hoping we get some quality time on babies naps or really just anything. 🥴

How far along postpartum are you? & yes, it won't be that way forever. Your family dynamic has changed so its a lot of adjustments happening lol its a new "normal" it won't be how it was without baby because its a different season of life now. So now new habits and routines need to be formed.

I feel like we've gotten closer because we interact a lot when it comes to the baby. And because we value our evenings when baby sleeps even more!

Honestly I naturally prioritized our baby. My husband felt very neglected and I felt alone. I think it’s a natural thing we do. But, with baby number two on the way all three need to be a priority.

When I was pregnant I read a tip that said you should kiss your partner for 5seconds daily. It's awkward at first, but just gets you used to slowing down for a quick connection. I feel so much better when me and my partner get to spend 10mins talking to each other without screens, or watch a 40min show together before sleeping. Prioritising your relationship a little bit helps you prioritise your child. Now we have a toddler and it's so much easier. We have longer evenings together, we all eat together at dinner which is a great way to catch up, and our daughter is happy to go to grandparents for an afternoon without us 😁

It’s a massive change for him. Be patient and express that you need a date night etc

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I feel like when we had a 2 month old it was prioritize babies needs (they literally need you to survive so you can’t not prioritize that) then our own basic survival and sanity, and there wasn’t a lot of time or energy left for anything else. The thing that made it manageable was talking about it constantly. We were both struggling with the total upheaval of our lives and our relationship and personal lives being on the back burner but at least we were on the same page and we did our best to keep each other from getting overwhelmed at any given moment which I guess is prioritizing each other, and We both tried to make sure we stayed on the same team and honestly that has probably gotten us further than regular date nights or something (which weren’t in the cards anyway)

At 2m my baby came first and he understood that it's a season and everything will find a new rhythm your both figuring this both out can you do a monthly or even every 6 weeks go on a date it doesn't have to be long even if you just go for a drive or order some drive-thru and listen to some music in the car might be nice to have some time alone together to reconnect

Communicate with ur Husabnd abt feeling neglected, bt u should also know that this is a normal part of the life because of season that ur in. U both are trying to figure out how to be mom and dad while still playing ur other roles! It takes some patiencec adjustments, and grace! My Husband and I don’t prioritize each other because we don’t need to to be able to function as a couple, bt we do put our “marriage” first before anything else. We prioritize our “MARRIAGE”! our relationship as couple is everything. So it’s not necessarily putting each other as a priority, bt it’s very important to nurture ur relationship :) like I said u are in a new phase of ur life as new parents so all these changes to ur relationship dynamic are so normal. Communication is key!

I think that's expected since your baby is soo young, I think it gets easier to prioritise each other when the baby gets abit older.

I prioritize both. For both my husband and myself our child is our number one concern however we do try to find time to cuddle and talk and have sex. Just be a couple. It's hard but needed if you want your marriage to last. Express your concerns to your husband.