Babymomma conflicts

I can’t judge this woman… I’d probably be exactly the same tbh.

@Sharon I get this hurricane stuff etc.. but a lot of it seems so excessive. Wanting to know where we are going what we are doing when we get back (this is aside from the hurricane- I don’t blame her at all- with that we told her we were leaving before it all hits and we did, but she sent us over 16 pictures of updates, and we can see the weather and reassured her). But wanting to know every single detail I feel is just pushing… like why can’t she call at the end of the day and ask the kids what they did?..

I feel like it’s normal for her to want to know what’s going on? I’m sure she knows yall are capable parents but some people are just more anxious when it comes to their kids and just want to know what is going on. As far as the hurricane goes,girl I’m worried and I don’t even live anywhere near Florida. I cannot possibly imagine what it would be like to have kids and live in Florida rn let alone knowing you aren’t with them. However your feelings are totally valid. I think hers are as well. Maybe try bringing it up to your bf again if it is really bothering you and let him know how it is affecting you. But at the end of the day if this is how they want to coparent I don’t think there is much you can really do unless everyone is willing to work on it.

@Lexi I’ve brought it up multiple times and I just feel unheard. I’ve asked to set a boundary on it, because it will be all day long she texts and she’ll call 2-3 times a day. We only have them for 4 days typically every other week- but this the fall break and w the hurricane I def get it. I would be worried too. So I don’t blame her but the updates when we are already looking felt excessive but I just kept quiet about that. But with the boundary he hasn’t said anything and avoided that .. and said her messaging all the time irritates him too but he can’t do anything about it… and I’m just like idk talk to her?… My ex husband and I, coparent a lot differently I guess. We don’t contact each other unless an emergency or school issues. Even with the hurricane he only messaged once or twice and I updated him along the way w out him asking. But he even said I won’t bother yall just checking in. And I make sure to update.

that’s what happens when you date a man with kids who have a very present and active mother. She’s not wrong. I’m assuming they’re young children so yes she’s going to be all up in yalls business as it pertains to her kids.

I feel her. I couldn't IMAGINE co-parenting and my kids not being with me for days on end. Let alone dealing with another parent in my relationship, y'all are strong

What kind of relationship do you have with the mum? Do you know her, have you met? Have you spent much time together?

@Tyler they’re school age- I guess my dynamic is different w my bd so I’m trying to figure it all out on this end. This is my first time w someone with kids so I’m trying to not feel this way you know?

@Sharon we get along! We only speak at game events etc - I don’t find anything negative w their coparenting etc, I just guess I’m just being selfish because I want our privacy and our time w them and not constant texting etc. but I’ll push past it and learn and be better

Nope, it's definitely not necessary. Do you guys message her constantly and need to know every move she makes with her children when they are with her. Seems like your bf hasn't established any boundaries, and I totally understand as I have experienced this with partners bm. It's a way of controlling you and the kids.

It’s great that you get along. I think the more you can get to know each other the more she’ll learn to trust to you. Right now she’s just an anxious parent and I think it’s natural to feel that way when your kids are not in your eyeline. Just be patient with her and I’m sure you’ll get there eventually.

Oh I understand. I don’t think she’s doing it with bad intentions to tear you guys apart or anything. She’s just 100% involved as a mother.

@Renee he said he just doesn’t want the argument and in the past they’ve had issues to where she wouldn’t allow him to talk to them or answer the phone so he’s just taking it as it is now and apologized to me. Maybe I’m internalizing a negative feeling because of my past? I’d rather them have a peaceful co parenting relationship than stressed

@Tyler me either, she’s engaged and just had a baby, I think she’s definitely over worried about the kids, I just wish she would calm down on the texting and calling and keep it to a call a day and ask them like oh what did you do etc- instead of asking while we are doing things etc. I do wish he would set some type of boundary through that

I can’t imagine having to be away from my kids for any period of time. She sounds like she either just wants to keep him updated on the kids or she’s just worried about the kids. I don’t know if I necessarily blame her. I don’t think it’s cause for concern.

The hurricane concern, fine. But everything else is definitely a no. My husbands bm use to do this and I told him it had to stop because what we do at our house is none of her business. parents aren’t allowed to interrupt the other parents time with their child, especially if it’s causing you to feel this way.

She is using the kids to manipulate the situation. Does she have her own relationship? My partners ex stopped the kids from seeing him when we started dating and then again multiple times as a way to get him to do what she wants. Her brother was released from jail, and she let him stay at her place and drive the kids around with no licence. My partner tried talking to her about that, and the response was that she didn't have to do what he told her. When she was in a relationship, she was much nicer and caused less interference. My point is if he doesn't have a formal agreement with her. He will always have that fear she will stop the kids from seeing him. Society automatically thinks kids are better off with their mom and mom's know best, but that isn't always the case. Father's play an important role.