Rant

Tbh my view of things is that baby takes priority and I would pass on it. Bugger people pleasing if you're gonna have a shit night because if it

I'll be honest with you, I think your partner - despite it being his birthday - could have had other plans since your lives have changed since having a baby and sometimes certain accommodations need to be made for a short period of time to navigate that new lifestyle. Obviously I'm not saying he doesn't get to celebrate his birthday, but maybe a different way of celebration? Or maybe have that be on a different day so that you get a chance to celebrate with him on his actual birthday then he can do another one with family that you can opt out of without feeling left out? For my husband's birthday (coming up in december), we will most likely have family over for dinner and game night which we would usually start after the kids are asleep. This way we can still have our fun and celebrations, not exclude anyone special, and make sure our kids (especially our 4 month old) is sleeping soundly in her cot. Could just be me but a pub after 7 is no place for a baby this young.

I had this dilemma recently. My MIL says the baby shouldn't run your whole schedule. They aren't the ones waking up and doing night feeds or dealing with a tired screaming baby. I think baby comes first before anyone including myself! It's a touchy subject in my house. My parents think baby comes first and our nightlife is over but my husbands side of the family all think we are making life awkward and baby should bend to our plans! 😵‍💫

It’s my partners 40th in two weeks and he’s arranged everything so it’s during the day and doesn’t disrupt babies bedtime. We’ve had years to go to the pub and stay out late, the baby takes priority for us now…doesn’t mean we won’t still have an amazing celebration! I also wouldn’t feel comfortable taking a baby to a pub past 7pm anyway unless it was really quiet x

I think it depends on what the baby is used to, we don’t really put our baby to bed properly until we go to bed, occasionally he sleeps on us on the sofa, so taking him out in the evening wouldn’t be an issue for us, we wouldn’t do that now because of our toddler. However when our toddler was a baby we regularly went out to a pub quiz in the evenings, we only really stopped between him being 6-12 months old.

I totally get where you're coming from! It's my brother's birthday in a couple of weeks and I was in charge of booking a dinner, which I did, for 5pm so that we could all go together, but he kicked up a fuss about wanting it to be later (which I totally get, I know 5pm is early for dinner) so instead of trying to take our daughter out and be worrying about her sleeping I've just said to the family that the baby won't be there and either myself or my husband will stay at home so he routine doesn't get disrupted. This was also met with bafflement that we wouldn't just 'suck it up' and bring her along. I just told them I don't want to have to deal with the inevitable overtired baby and being the one who has to soothe her. Baby is priority and my brother will have plenty family birthday dinners in the future where everyone can be present.

My baby goes to bed around then too. Sometimes I'm at my in laws and it's around 6/630pm when I should be at home getting her ready for bed. I haven't tried napping her at that time then bed later at like 9 to see what happens since she was around 3 months. I think 6 months is officially when they should have a routine although my baby basically is in one now at almost 5months. Baby comes first, totally get why you are annoyed hopefully baby goes to sleep. A lot of people say to me one night is fine but haven't tried it

Thanks all - glad I’m not alone. Update, baby fell asleep in the pub throughout the quiz. Just transferred her and she’s done a massive poo 😭 as expected I was the one on baby duty all night and no one else lifted a finger! It always feels like it falls on the mum 🥲

That's so crap for you but at least you're home now ☹ get her all cleaned up and settled and hopefully you'll get a good nights sleep

Hope your night goes well and baby ends up sleeping soundly now that the pub night is over!

Baby and you takes priority so don't go. Why stress yourself? Have an open conversation with your partner about it. That's babies bed time routine and you're the one who has to manage it while everyone has a great time? Nope!

Baby used to be on our schedule up to 3.5 months as she would sleep anywhere. Now she’s in a routine and goes to bed at 7 I won’t disrupt that for anyone. I recently cancelled plans for a big family meal that started at 7 as I knew they’d want to pass her around and then I’d be the one dealing with her overtired in a restaurant. I am very relaxed taking her out wherever we go, but I just make sure people know baby is not available after bedtime. If there’s no compromise on time can she stay with your family so she’s still in her routine?Or take baby earlier and you just leave before bed time?