Advise

You are not overthinking. If you did used to cook everyday and now you need him to do some cooking and chores, you need to speak to him. Some men don’t assume things. You have to spell it out to them and make them understand.

I didn’t cook for months, most of my pregnancy and the whole newborn phase. You’re busy cooking up a human and that is physically, mentally and emotionally EXHAUSTING. It’s not too much to expect that he can put a shift in and help out with the chores.

you’re not overthinking and you’re certainly not in the wrong, pregnancy can really exhausting in all ways and i can only imagine how tired you are after working through the week, especially with a demanding job. in this situation, i would let your partner know you want to talk to him, let him know that his comment about you not cooking made you feel upset really hurt, because you feel like he overlooked the impact pregnancy is having. let him know how it’s impacting you (the fatigue etc) and that you need his support when it comes to things like cooking, and any chores you might need help to upkeep. like amy said, some men don’t think about these things for themselves, whilst it can be frustrating, they often just need a helping hand through communication. if AFTER communicating, he’s not understanding or helpful, condescending etc, then you should think about your relationship and the steps going forward, because with a baby, you will definitely need someone understanding & willing.

Thank you all for your advice and replying xx

What’s wrong with his arms? Just because he’s a male doesn’t mean he can’t cook. You are a great wife it’s time for him to grow up your not his mum

No you don't need to cook every day pregnancy is hard he should help you. Tbh if u cooked everyday sounds like he would expect it and with a baby u may not be able too. Do not doubt yourself everyone needs rest especially when your carrying a baby x

@Rhiannon that’s what I was thinking too. I think it’s a lot to do with his culture. But it’s really getting me down and making me think I’m not going to be a good mum x

@Sharon I think its a lot to do with his culture and some days I just don’t have the energy to do anything x

Don’t internalise this as a potential failing on your part. Husbands in 2024 should be helping as much as they can and be looking after you while you go through this massive change in becoming a (fantastic) mother. Communication is key - you’ll need to be a team when baby comes, even if it’s divide and conquer (you feed baby, he feeds you!)

Let him grow a whole human in his body, and then let's see if he will think the same. Please don't push yourself to do much more than you can. It's time for him to step up and do his share of the chores. Man, I really praise you cos you are doing amazing.

It’s not your culture though so compromise needs to be made on his behalf. X

@Emelie we just end up arguing because I don’t think he realises all the stuff I’m feeling and going through while been pregnant 😟

@Janet I know it would be a whole different story and thank you x

@Rhiannon yeah he’ll do a deep clean once a week but everything else I do x

If you set expectations now it will be easier when baby comes to have these conversations.

You are already doing two full time job - real work job and producing baby in your body . There is no other job you can do after this . Divide house hold chores. If you do cooking , he does cleaning. For grocery take turn .

I couldn’t do anything while pregnant.. he needs to fucking cook..

Maybe during the pregnancy he needs to help more just talk to him about how u feel x

He needs to understand that you are literally growing a human. You are going through so many changes and are going to be tired. He needs to do his fair share. Even if you weren't pregnant, you both work so the household shouldn't be your entire responsibility. He is not a prince and you are not his maid.

Damn I feel like so many moms post things like this and I always have to comment the same thing lol I should have it on a template lol Personally for me I learned that in order for me to be happy with my partner he needs to be an equal partner n team player. 1 be loving and emotionally nurturing to me n baby 2 provide financially if I’m staying at home to care for child or vise versa if he stays home . (This is personal but I do not wanna work until baby is 18m or while I’m pregnant unless I really have to ,I will part time remote) 3 he needs to be an adult and pick up after himself and have chores around the house ( maybe not daily chores but some that he could do every other week) also cook at least once per week 4 he has to parent when he’s off work . Must be able to do everything I can with baby other than breastfeeding. If I’m rested he deff won’t have to do much around the house or with kid but thats hard to come by during pregnancy and at least the first year of postpartum