How do you deal with having people offer help?
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@Kermela “Ela” I just I don’t know how…..literally it’s not even just physical….i literally take on everything and everyone’s feelings and emotions and problems then wait until I’m alone to breakdown…..it’s like not knowing how to deal with being not able to do everything…..I’m the middle child and my sisters are 19 and 32 years old but they are both super thin and can even share clothes…..so it was always assumed that because I was bigger that I’m stronger. It’s like just because I am calm in an emergency that im just strong, or that I didn’t cry at a funeral for a family member yet made sure to make sure everyone else was ok that I just was stronger
@Katrina it’s definitely more of a mental and mindset change more than anything. Just because your family put that on you doesn’t mean you HAVE to live that way. Everyone deserves to be vulnerable and receive help
@Kermela “Ela” it’s like neglecting myself to help everyone else is all I know….i literally just lost my therapist because I had to cancel my last 6 appointments and couldn’t see her since May because something always happens and I don’t have time for me
@Katrina then you should prioritize yourself and your baby for once. If you can’t do it for you. Do it for your baby
It’s scary being vulnerable when you’ve been expected to be strong for so long, but I am positive there are people in your life who will be happy for you that you’re reaching out for help and prioritizing yourself. Being pregnant is a great time to start taking care of yourself because it effects the baby so much, but also later we won’t be able to take care of our children to our best ability if we’re also running ourselves ragged you know? It’s ok to start small and build up asking for help over time too. I’ve been gradually working on for the past few years- it’s possible! Just try to extend the same care and compassion you have for others towards yourself 💐
I get what you mean. I’m Asian and as the oldest (especially being a daughter) I’m automatically assumed as a 3rd parent and have responsibilities as such. It took a very long time for me to accept help. The biggest mindset change that helped me during my pregnancy is that I’m not only putting myself in danger but I’m also putting my baby in danger. For me it was easier to accept help because it was helping my baby and not just me. I’m okay with overdoing it when it’s just myself but I won’t be able to forgive myself if something happened to my baby because I wouldn’t accept the help. Also remind yourself that you are deserving of help. That you don’t always have to be the strong one. What you would be willing to do for others should be what you’re always willing/are receiving from other people. Be vulnerable. And remember that you can always pay it forward somehow instead of directly returning the help you received.