Should I report to Children's Services?

Denying an asthmatic child their medication can be fatal. He's already been in a situation that has required medical intervention. I'm not sure why this wouldn't have been reported at the time of the incident, but if it wasn't then, it should be now. When they check on one sibling, they will see the other. Ebony and Bruce should be given proper warnings and dismissed from the center, if possible. If it's not possible, they should be referred for behavioral intervention and sent home when their behavior becomes disruptive, even if it affects their mother's class. Keep your ears open for instances of neglect or abuse by the parents. It doesn't sound like you've heard anything specific yet. Definitely report the center if they are not taking appropriate actions to keep these or other students (and staff!) safe.

I completely agree. I feel awful that I've been sitting on this. Calling Children's Services is a huge thing, and I didn't want to take it lightly. As an asthmatic myself, I'm aware of the risks, I guess I just needed someone to tell me I'm not crazy. Ebony is in school now, but I do think things need to be put in place regarding Bruce. Unfortunately, the only thing they have done is assume he was biting due to hunger, so gave him biscuits when they felt he might bite. The only reason anything was done was because he bit a child and their parents went to the department.

In regards to Ebony & Bruce, they need ABA 1:1 aides to help reduce these behaviors. Punishing a child for this is counterproductive to their development. They do need to be separated from other kids when their behaviors do occur. That is something mom needs to inquire with the school/center about. Not sure if they have an IEP (individual education plan) but if they do, they'll receive services a lot faster. Jude and Calvin, it sounds like medical neglect. I would report it to someone. Just because something is reported to child services, doesn't mean the children will be taken away from their mother. Or if possible, if you could talk to mom, maybe see what her situation is, perhaps that could give you some insight and an ability to help even if it's giving resources.

The thing is if something god forbid did happen to those kids and you didn't act on your gut you would spend your life regretting it

Are you a mandated reporter? If so then you have to report. Generally if you’re a teacher or work in a school or school like setting you’re considered a mandated reporter. You can report anonymously too

Putting in a report doesn’t automatically main they will be separated. I assume an investigation will happen. That’s exactly what should happen. These kids sound like they’re being neglected. It might not be on purpose, but the parents- or kids- won’t get help unless the authorities know about it.

First set, 100% report on the basis that the children’s welfare is clearly at risk. Second, I would report but state it seems like the parents would benefit from additional support to manage their children’s needs. Then if there is more to it hopefully it would come to light.

@Ash, they need support and haven't gotten it. Their educators just enable the behaviour, encourage it, and make excuses for it. Mum hasn't done anything about it either. No assessments, no diagnosis, no support, nothing. I was the only one doing anything, and I'd get in trouble for it. Their educators/teachers can't help them unless they know what is causing these behaviours. They can only do so much. Mum had been spoken to about the possibility of them having Autism, agreed but laughed it off, and has done nothing. I can't talk to Jude and Calvin's mum. It's not a resource thing. She has stuff available. Brings in puffers and spacers, etc, just sometimes says she hasn't given him either that morning. Mum has some unresolved issues. The lunch ox thing is anxiety related, or so I'm told, but only for her eldest. She isn't anxious about her youngest. The eldest, as far as I know, never had an eating issue, though was quite premature, they both were.

@Jill, yes I am.

OK, I have another kid too, I was told there is nothing to report. We have all noticed her vagina smells, her nails aren't trimmed, and she needs glasses, but parents barely have her wear them. She was being assessed for lactose intolerance or dairy protein allergy, but parents were still giving her cows milk despite giving us lactose free. She was on a lactose free/dairy free diet with us but bit at home. When she moved rooms, they stopped doing the dairy free and was eating dairy. She did pellets until around 2/3 months ago when apparently things changed a bit. We started talking to Mum over a year ago about her poops and that she was often in pain going. Apparently, they are still waiting on a specialist appointment but told staff she can eat normally again. I was made to feel like I was an idiot for being concerned and for refusing to give her dairy. I asked if we should report and was told no. Just to add, she is wearing her glasses more now, and her poop is ever so slightly better.

@Ash, just to add. The behaviour was a daily occurrence for Ebony, but it's less so for Bruce. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, it can be very disruptive. No one can talk to Mum, though, except her really good friend. She doesn't handle disciplining or redirecting her kids' behaviour well at all. The friend then tells people to respect Ebony (apparently discipline, redirection and saying no is disrespecting her) and even once tried to get me to be sympathetic to Mum due to my own child's extra needs. Like no ma'am. I'm supporting my child in every way I can to support his extra needs. Therapies, open and constant communication with his educators and centre in general, I agreed to a behaviour guidance plan (didn't go through), he had a behaviour log, etc. I've got little sympathy for someone doing nothing for their kid.

When I worked in teaching we went by the mandate “if in doubt write it out” IE, even if you’re not sure if you should report or not sure if it’s even a big deal… ALWAYS report… you never know who else has reported and you may be adding key information to give a more comprehensive picture! Try and see reporting as a helpful thing, it could mean families and children can be given more help and support, we never truly know familial circumstances, they may be embarrassed to ask for help or struggling mentally or financially and actually a professional coming to them with aid and advice is a GOOD thing for everyone! X

@Megan, that's amazing. Thank you.

Make the report then let authorities handle it. Maybe it's nothing, maybe it's something. All you can do is report and let authorities do their job for what is best for the children

I’m a social worker and with the 2nd siblings I’d be querying domestic abuse. Often children who witness DV are terrified of their mothers being out their sights and will show signs of violence etc themselves.

@Shannon, I am worried about her too. Not for DV concerns, until you said something but because it's believed she has undiagnosed autism as well. She is severely asthmatic and has actually died from an attack but was revived and recovered, but she vapes, and I'm pretty sure smokes weed. Just not making the best decisions. She gets tapped out with her kids and shoves them away, tells them to f off, or that she doesn't want to see their faces. She also struggles with dyslexia or something. Struggles to read words in certain fonts, etc She's got behavioural issues and drug and alcohol abuse in her past. Talks about all this with her colleagues. Often, doesn't wear shoes at work despite it being OH&S, and despite being required to wear a uniform, doesn't do that either. Like there is a lot. Like Ebony started school, and she legitimately planned to leave her at home alone to walk to school by herself. The director and this good friend got wind of this and made calls to organise out of school hours care.

If you see something, say something. These habits/ issues are too serious to ignore. Kids need an advocate. Pls be that for them. Health and behavioral problems, this young, left untreated, will be devastating to them as teens and adults.