You’re not in the wrong. She thinks you were rude because she’s embarrassed that someone has to request her not to drink. She knows she has a problem
If she needs to be that defensive about it it doesn’t sound like she has any of it under control and therefore wouldn’t be having my LO
Most alcoholics don’t think they have a problem and get very offended when you imply they do. My mil lost her licence for drink driving at 3pm on school pick up after a day at work but still thinks she doesn’t have a problem.
Please don’t feel bad, what you asked of her was understandable and for your child’s safety. It’s not like you asked to be rude! I’m sure she’ll realise she overreacted and apologise hopefully to you
You aren’t a bad mum. You have your reasons to be worried and for speaking up. You’re just trying to do best by your baby! Maybe your partner needs to get himself involved and have a chat with his mum x