Clueless husband
Show your support
Feel this too! Men 🙄 but love Jennifer’s advice. Play to their strength. Mines good at burping, swaddling tight, and “coaching” tummy time, giving the afternoon or morning bottle. Sometimes I read aloud the thing from the books I’ve been reading about baby care and sleep like Moms on Call and Happiest Baby on the Block all about soothing. I’ve also asked him to take certain shifts like alternating the “bedtime shift” so he can practicing soothing and putting to bed without me looking over his shoulder. They don’t have to do it just like you it’s best that they explore and figure out a way to do it themselves. We’re all on a major learning curve and some things come more naturally to us moms. But the resentment is REAL! 😓 managing this new chapter in marriage with a baby is tough! And sometimes we need a good vent!
I have 3 kiddos with my husband and he does a great job with all our kids but the baby/newborn stage is not his favorite stage and he's voiced it. Right now while I'm on maternity leave he will hold baby if he is crying until I'm done completing whatever task I am doing. But he has mainly helped with being there for our oldest kiddos and continuing to bond with them and make them feel special during this time. My husband will get his bonding time with baby when I return back to work in November and he'll use his second 6 weeks of bonding leave time then. I think he just feels more comfortable when I'm not around to have an opinion or provide my input to him on how he is being dad.
2 kids in and mine will rock a screaming baby for an hour but not put his phone down or smile at her to make her feel comfortable. He’s often not present with our kids because of his phone. Resentment is easy to fall into after kids, especially if you’re with a clueless man child
I understand completely about having that resentment. I've sat my husband down to essentially help guide him cause he isn't naturally soothing but instead had him focus on help our LO with tummy time. She works better with a contact tummy time and my husband has been essential with getting her to balance he weight on her arms and hold her head up. That worked for us. Maybe have him focus instead on areas that would help your LO development so thats one less thing off of you. I don't mind my LO coming to me for comfort and having her go to daddy for play.