I’d be long gone, you can do better. He’s a danger to himself and others
Sounds like he’s fighting with demons and they’re winning. If you divorce him he’ll go pass the rabbit hole and they WILL win. He/Boah of you need counseling or yall need to have conversations to find out the root of his depression and pain that has him drinking like a fish. At one point everything was going good you have to go back in your memory bank to see when his changes started and what was going on. You have to be patient and listen and not give up on him. Marriage is for better or worse and right now he’s on the worse side and have to figure out why and fight to get him back to the man you married. We all go through things in our own way. As we know Depression shows up in all kinds of ways, right now he’s crashed out and he’s not strong enough to get himself out and needs you to fight with him and for him.
It sounds like you need to ask him to leave or get in touch with his family and ask for help to move him out. If he refuses to get therapy and to change then you need to do what’s best for you and your children x
I’m going to be direct with you bc this is what I needed when I was in a similar situation. He’s only doing what’s best for him. He’s not thinking about you or the kids. So now you need to do what’s best for you. Marriage is NOT for selfish people. He’s not showing up, he’s a grown man so he knows what he’s doing, he just doesn’t care enough to change to make things right, to contribute. He doesn’t care enough. So stop waiting for him to wake up and care, stop staying in a potentially dangerous situation hoping it gets better. It’s as good as it going to get right now. He may NEVER change. Start living your life the way you want it right now. Does that mean divorce idk I’ll leave that up to you but you can definitely leave and figure your life out in a better environment away from his instability.
Have you tried Al-Anon?
He intentionally put your daughter in danger. That one instance alone, even if nothing else bad has happened, should tell you to leave. He drank and drove with your child in the car, he knowingly risked her life so he could be selfish and drink. He isn't going to get better unless he's slapped with a hard truth about the reality of what he's doing and the only way to do that would be to leave him